Page 51 - How Changing Your Anger Can Help You Be a Better Parent book

realized at that moment what had happened, Nicole went downstairs and cleaned up the kitchen
without resistance or explosive words between her and her mother.

So, at the end of that angry exchange, Tanya didn't feel as bad, guilty or regretful for her explosive
reaction. She didn’t have her usual over the top emotional reaction, and out of control angry
presentation to her daughter.
There was a positive influence and healthy impact on their relationship. Nicole realized that her
mother was going to handle her anger differently, in a more neutral way. By using assertive anger
communication, Tanya was able to see some growth and development in Nicole - just a little bit
of accountability in that particular situation.

What tools can you use as a parent to stop yelling at your kids? Be assertive, rather than being
aggressive, or even passive aggressive.
Again, yelling is not a strategy - it's a release and it's a very ineffective way of being able to hold
your kids accountable, help them be more respectful, responsible and have more appropriate
behavior. Other things you can do other than yelling at your kids, are get yourself to a calmer
place and be able to have assertive communication styles to communicate in a way that will make
you feel better after the angry exchange. By doing so will actually deepen and strengthen your
relationship with your kids and your other family members.

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