Page 54 - How Changing Your Anger Can Help You Be a Better Parent book

Your best anger tool, here’s the right way to form a

positive mantra

When you get angry with your child, or at any highly emotional moment for you, one of your best
tools is positive self-talk. You can change your negative angry thinking with positive self-talk.

Since you want to change your angry thinking quickly, you can use short phrases, or mantras, to
make the quick change.

Your anger with your child is caused by your thoughts! The way you are perceiving, interpreting,
and processing what you’re experiencing determines your level of emotional response.

You can change your thoughts!

You have the power to control your thinking, rather than have your thinking control you.

You may feel emotionally out of control when you feel angry with your child, but you can gain
control and the choice of how to respond is yours.

The challenge is that your thinking process is severely affected when you become angry. Your
brain tends to shift into survival mode, and your thoughts become distorted. Your sense of time
and your “in the moment” ability to problem solve diminishes.

For successful anger management, it’s a matter of how to redirect your distorted angry thoughts.

When you begin to feel angry or any other type of stress, your body sensations will change. Maybe
your heart begins to beat faster, your body begins to perspire, and you may feel other body
sensations change - like stomach butterflies or muscle tightness.

When stressed, your changing body sensations usually means stress hormones are being
released as your brain state plunges into survival mode.

You have the power to change the chemistry of your brain's stress response by changing your
thinking patterns. By taking charge of your thoughts in the heat of an emotional moment you’ll be
able to prevent your brain state from shifting so dramatically.

The best tool to use to change your distorted thinking when you feel angry or otherwise stressed
is to create positive mantras that will be easy for you to recall and recite mentally as you feel your
body sensations change due to the emotional charge.
Your positive mantras should be very individualized and attuned to your child and the situation
that’s making you angry. So, they are very specific.

My positive mantras would probably not be effective for you and your positive mantras would not
necessarily work for me either.
Your positive mantras need to be situation specific. If you are in a situation where you are feeling
anxious, your mantra should be focused on attuning to the fear that’s causing your anxiety. If

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