Page 59 - How Changing Your Anger Can Help You Be a Better Parent book

The Skill of Active Listening

Healthy Active Listening:

● is a specific intentional form of communication in which you focus attention on what the
speaker is saying and give something back.

● is about pausing your own thoughts and connecting with the thoughts of another. Your active
listening response can reflect the content feelings of possible meanings of what the other
person is saying to you.

● prevents high levels of emotional safety between you and the person you’re connecting with.

● is grounded in acceptance and respect. Healthy listening is to listen to understand, rather than
to respond.

● when practiced sensitively and intentionally, can give power to the speaker, allowing that
person to be more in charge of the direction of the conversation.

With active listening you can build trust in your relationship, with understanding and acceptance.

You give the speaker opportunities to experience the release and healing that occurs when they
can share, vent and process with you.

With active listening skills, you know how to respond and how not to respond.

Acceptance is the cornerstone of active listening. You may not like, agree with, or even
understand what the other person is saying, but you are able to empathize with their thoughts,
feelings, and beliefs.

Because your active listening will be based on appreciation and acknowledgment, the person you
are connecting with will feel liberated. By permitting them to describe their story, they will be able
to have a much-needed emotional release.

When active listening,

● Be prepared to accept the feelings of the speaker.
● Be objective, yet intuitive.

● Allow the speaker to be responsible for their own feelings.
● Recognize that feelings are often transitory.

● Let the speaker lead the conversation.
● Be patient and allow the speaker to draw their own conclusions.

● Try not to have a specific result in mind.

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