Page 80 - Grammar for Great Writing B

ACTIVITY 10 Steps to Composing

Read the paragraph. Then follow the directions in the 10 steps to edit the information
and composition of this paragraph. Write your revised paragraph on a separate sheet of
paper. Be careful with capitalization and punctuation. Check your answers with the class.

COMPARISON PARAGRAPH

How Cultures View Aging

1 Different cultures look at the process of aging in different ways. In some cultures,
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youth is admired and aging is feared. People try to hide the fact that they are aging
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in a variety of different ways. Some people color their hair in order to hide the gray.
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5 Others go to even more extreme lengths and have plastic surgery on their faces and
bodies to appear younger than they are. Older people who can no longer take care of
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themselves often move to homes or communities where professional caretakers can

care for them. In other cultures, however, things are very different. Age is respected
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rather than feared. People in those cultures tend to think of older people as smart
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and worthy of respect. The wrinkles on their faces are seen as symbols of valuable
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experience rather than simply as fading beauty. In these cultures, people do not put
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their aging parents in special homes or hospitals. They often bring them into their
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own homes and care for them themselves.

1. In sentence 1, change look to the more academic word view. Make any other
necessary changes.

2. It is not good to repeat the same word too often. Find the adjective that is repeated
in sentence 1. The second time it is used, change it to another suitable adjective.

3. In sentence 2, the word some is not specific. Change it to many western.
4. In sentence 5, change and have to by having

5. Sentences 4 and 5 are examples of sentence 3. Connect the sentences with and.
Begin the new sentence with For example.

6. In sentence 6, put In addition at the beginning of the sentence.
7. The phase older people is used twice in the paragraph. In sentence 6, change it to
senior citizens.

70 Unit 5 Writing with Prepositions

Copyright 2018 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be copied, scanned, or duplicated, in whole or in part. Due to electronic rights, some third party content may be suppressed from the eBook and/or eChapter(s).
Copyright 2018 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be copied, scanned, or duplicated, in whole or in part. Due to electronic rights, some third party content may be suppressed from the eBook and/or eChapter(s).
Editorial review has deemed that any suppressed content does not materially affect the overall learning experience. Cengage Learning reserves the right to remove additional content at any time if subsequent rights restrictions require it.
Editorial review has deemed that any suppressed content does not materially affect the overall learning experience. Cengage Learning reserves the right to remove additional content at any time if subsequent rights restrictions require it.
Copyright 2018 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be copied, scanned, or duplicated, in whole or in part. WCN 02-200-203
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