Page 165 - Wake Up and do Your Thing

NICHOLAS BOOTHMAN
Have you ever noticed that when you’re in a group, if someone tells a joke and one person starts genuinely laughing, the others start laughing too, even if it’s not funny? The same happens with tension and sadness. That’s empathy helping us adapt and fit into our environment. If I smile at you, you’ll feel inclined to reciprocate and smile back. In much the same way, if I look at you dismissively and then avert my eyes, you’ll probably respond in kind. If I sigh, you feel it. If you laugh, I feel it.
Attitudes are big bundles of feelings projected through body language, tone of voice, and the words you choose. When you’re angry, you look angry, you sound angry, you use angry words—and it makes other people feel uncomfortable. Conversely, when you’re playful, you look playful, you sound playful, you use playful words—and it makes other people feel playful. Ditto for enthusiastic, or sexy, or any other mood.
B Is for Body Language
What you do or don’t do speaks louder than your words. Since your attitude is reflected in your body language, you can choose your attitude. That means ruling out really useless attitudes like bored, rude, or hostile (or appearing that way without realizing) and choosing to assume really useful attitudes like welcoming, enthusiastic, curious, or resourceful.
165