Page 15 - IFAFA ebook v4

3. Adele Hutchinson

I married in 1976 when Ireland was culturally a very different country.

Until 1973, women had to resign from their job in the civil service or the

bank when they got married. Teachers were an exception but overall the

mindset was that husbands would be the breadwinner and women who

pursued a career were usually single. Some highly educated women who

married a diplomat had to give up their career and some ended up really

resenting this. There were a few sad cases in previous generations.

I was lucky because teaching is a portable career and I was able to find

work overseas. I taught in both Nigeria and Belgium. Coming back to

Ireland to teach was a challenge. I had qualified in Scotland so did not

know the system and had to start teaching on a part-time basis for a

number of years before getting a permanent post which coincided with my

husband’s posting to London and we ended up commuting for four years.

This decision has been most fortuitous as I built up enough credits to

qualify for a contributory pension. To be honest, when younger, I had not
given a thought to pension. Now I recognize how important it is to be

fully informed about one’s status and how to safeguard your rights for the

future.

Going on posting can be difficult and challenging as you leave friends and

family behind. Having children helped as there was the opportunity to

meet friends through their school for example. Our missions abroad tend

to be very small so it is essential to not become isolated and lonely. This

is especially true if you don’t have the opportunity to work.

At Head of Mission level, it is somewhat easier as I joined the Spouses’

Association in both Malaysia and Poland. I also joined the International

Women’s Association in Warsaw and broadened my friendship group

beyond the diplomatic corps.

At a family level, the diplomatic life is exciting but unusual and a bit

daunting. Our two older children were born in New York, moved with us

to Nigeria. They attended the American School where I was teaching.

They loved life in Lagos – swimming most afternoons and weekend trips
by banana boat out to the lagoon - and we were very fortunate to have no

bad experiences there. There was the constant danger of malaria, for

example, and armed robberies were very common. But overall, we all

enjoyed the challenge.

Our next move was Brussels which was in some ways more isolated

compared to Lagos where the expat community was very supportive. I was

also teaching in an American School and the children attended the

European School. Our daughter was bullied there and in fact asked to
return to Ireland as a boarder.

Our youngest boy accompanied us to New York and Malaysia. Leaving

Ireland was an enormous wrench for him as he left his friends from

playschool days as well as his big sister and brother whom he adored.

Sometimes it is our children who pay the emotional cost of this

peripatetic lifestyle. He adjusted in the end and did the IB in Kuala

Lumpur. He returned to Ireland and had reintegrate once more. His first

year in university did not go well; he had no group of friends in Ireland
anymore and he found weekends very lonely as most other students went

home. He felt very much the outsider with his overseas life and his

American accent. A change of university to Trinity suited him much

better and he found his niche and close friends. However, he was one of

the unfortunate cohort hit by the recession so he has ended up teaching

in Scotland. He does not have Irish as a consequence of living abroad for

so long and this will be an issue should he decide to return home.

Overall, I look back on our ‘diplomatic’ life in a mostly positive way. We

enjoyed the adventure and life was never boring. I was lucky that my
husband was already a diplomat when we married so I (kind of) knew what

I was letting myself in for. So despite the ups and downs, I have happy 6

memories as a ‘diplomatic bag’.