Page 41 - IFAFA ebook v4

13.

Siobhan Denham

I was always very excited once we knew we were heading somewhere

new and always looked forward to it. Of course, there was always

the challenge of moving the children – 4 in all. Our eldest child,

our son, said he had enough of moving when we returned from

Washington DC at age 12, and wanted to go to boarding school, and

that is what happened. He went to Clongowes and loved every

minute of it.

On another occasion our then 7-year-old decided to run away! When

we were chatting about why she was leaving us, she said ‘Who are

packers, what are packers, you keep talking about packers, and

what is Ireland?’ We had moved to DC when she was three and she

had no memory of our home there. I was always concerned as to

whether I dealt with her concerns correctly. But she didn’t run

away, so I guess I did reassure her!

In the early years, I was happy to be a traditional spouse. I was at

home with my children and was happy to entertain and be

entertained. But always in the background there was the nagging

feeling that I was not using my degree. I guess we tended to look at

the other spouses around and follow them to a certain extent.

When I returned to Ireland from a posting in 1990, I decided to

retrain as a Teacher of English as a Foreign Language; this was as a

direct result of an article I had read in the IFASA [previous name

for IFAFA] newsletter on portable careers. This did prove very

portable and I worked part-time both on postings and in Ireland. In

your 30s, however, you are not really worrying, or at least I wasn’t,

about pensions and gaps in social welfare contributions. It was only

in my 50s with the family grown that I began to think of what to do

next. And I also realized that I would not have my own pension. I

set up my own copy-editing and proofreading business in 2013 and

hope to have some kind of contributory state pension but will not

qualify for a full one I imagine. I feel this is an issue that the

younger spouses should make a matter of priority.

I take my hat off to the founding members. The organisation was

needed to raise awareness on how the diplomatic lifestyle affects

families and not just the officer. The association is responsible for

achieving many of the rights that those joining the Department

today take for granted. Planned postings and school fees were a

very big issue at the beginning, consideration of families that had

children with special needs, and bereavement travel are also some

of the issues I remember dealing with. 32