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I met some amazing older spouses who had such stories of evacuations,

survival, accommodation scares and practical advice. To these spouses I

am eternally grateful and I still believe a buddy system would be amazing

for new diplomatic spouses beginning the journey of how to take on a

posting on equal terms and what that will entail.

I have been very lucky. I wanted to be a stay-at-home mum but I was a

drama tutor before we left on our first posting. I had enough PRSI

contributions to qualify for maternity benefit for all three pregnancies.

As our lives progressed, I watched the world around me and decided to

formulate a plan of action for myself. Establishing contacts abroad in the

arts and bringing new expertise in theatre for young audiences into

Ireland gave me the possibility to create a sole tradership that I set up in

Ireland. I had enough workshops and festival events over the years to

keep the company active in Ireland. Now, 20 years on, even though my

income from this career path has been minimal (I didn’t do it for the

money) I am actually entitled to a pension in my own right. Also, I have

enough for eye tests, dental checks etc. So, I am delighted and I feel

lucky. I believe that everyone can think of something they can do which

can contribute to a future pension. If we choose to follow our spouses and

live amazing experiences abroad, then we have to make sure that somehow

we are also looking after our own futures as the trailing people! Of

course, this may require a rethink of our own career paths, but I believe

that every relationship has its compromises and joint decisions, and

diplomatic couples are no different. Facing the world together is still

better than facing it alone. It is definitely worth having a good

accountant who knows how to assist when you are on a posting!

IFAFA taught me so much down through the years. I attended my first

Christmas party in the ballroom with my sister! The following year I had

my own teeny bundle and I couldn’t have felt more supported by all the

committee of IFAFA and the other spouses with stories to tell. I learned

so much from listening to their stories, learning the vocabulary of the

new life I had married into and I remember feeling so excited about what

my own future would hold. Over the years, I became active myself on the

IFAFA committee and I was a delegate to EUFASA on three occasions. The

women and men I met with similar lifestyles and life stories inspired me.

It was fascinating to learn how different countries treated their

diplomatic families. Of course, the research is ongoing.

If I look back, I cannot put a price on the human contact with families

through IFAFA who were embarking on the same journey as ourselves,

and for the first time in our wider families’ context also. Along with the

campaigns for rights, for training, for counselling for families and for all

the support that assists a family to go on a posting together, I believe it is

this human contact with people who have so much in common with you

that is invaluable.

Go raibh maith agaibh!!!

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