Page 93 - Advanced Biblical Counseling Student Textbook

Mark 11:25 “And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that
your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.”

Matthew 6:15 “But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”

Proverbs 17:9 “Love prospers when a fault is forgiven, but dwelling on it separates close friends.”

From these verses we learn some important lessons about forgiveness.

1. We have offended God and sinned against Him numerous times in the past, and will do so numerous
times in the future. We have a nature that offends God. Yet, in spite of our offenses, God in love
forgives us. Love is expressed in a forgiving spirit. I Corinthians 13: 5 says that Love is kind, does not
seek its own, and not provoked, and thinks no evil. God’s love does not hold on to the offenses of the
past, but freely forgives. God washes us clean with His love and forgiveness.

2. Since we have been forgiven by God of our offenses, we need to reciprocate in forgiving others who
have offended us. There seems to be a condition from God that He will freely forgive us as we freely
forgive others. But the opposite is true. If we hold on to grudges, then God will hold His forgiveness
until we are ready to release the offense of others.

3. There is no limit to the number of offenses that we must forgive. Just keep on forgiving.

4. A lack of forgiveness will form a huge wall between people. We will break communion with those
who offend us. Barriers will keep us from fellowship. The only way to break down those barriers is to
simply forgive the offending party.

5. An offense requires a judgment call. We are offended because someone said something or did
something that, in our view, was offensive. But perhaps our view was wrong. We might hold an offense
when none was intended.

We don’t forgive because it benefits us. Those benefits may be a welcome by-product. But our
motivation to forgive is rooted in God’s call to forgive, our gratitude for God’s forgiveness of us, and our
desire to imitate Christ – the one who perfectly modeled forgiveness and even now perfects our efforts
to practice forgiveness.

What Forgiveness Is Not151

It seems prudent at the outset to clear up some misconceptions about forgiveness.

o Forgiveness is Not Earned
As we ponder the decision of whether or not to forgive someone for the pain, they’ve caused us,
it might be tempting to think that they don’t deserve to be forgiven. They deserve to pay for
their actions, not to get away with them. However, forgiveness is not something that can ever

151 https://bellevuechristiancounseling.com/articles/to-grudge-or-not-to-grudge-a-christian-counselor-on-
forgiveness-part-1

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