Page 181 - 4- Leading_from_Within
P. 181
advantage of others. This is called a "win-lose" situation. One wins; the
other loses. Although it is true that developing skills in negotiation can
give one more power in resolving disagreements or in developing
contracts, lack of concern for the other party or parties is an abuse of the
process.
The need for negotiation to occur is evidence that a problem exists between
two or more parties. But this does not mean that the relationship between
these parties has to be competitive or adversarial. It is possible that the
other party may disagree with you on a particular issue or position without
viewing you as an adversary. The key is to develop a working relationship
where trust, understanding, respect, and even friendship can be built up
over time. This will make each new negotiation smoother and more
efficient.
To avoid establishing a competitive climate with people with whom you
have not had much prior contact, it is important to establish a cooperative
relationship before the negotiation process begins. As part of your
negotiating strategy, figure out how you can meet with the people with
whom you will be negotiating well before you sit down to resolve your
differences. A meal is a good place to work on relationship-building.
When you set up your meeting, make it clear it is not to discuss the issues
you will negotiate, but to spend some time getting to know each other
away from the negotiating table. The more time you can spend building
relationships before you negotiate, the more effective your negotiating
session will be. You also reduce the level of tension and hostility that
might otherwise be present.
As desirable as collaborative negotiating may be for building better
relationships, it does not always work. Both parties have to agree to
cooperate if mutual gain is to occur. As stated by G.R. Williams: (The
cooperative strategy’s) major disadvantage is its vulnerability to exploitation, a
problem compounded by the apparent inability of some cooperative types to
recognize it when it happens. When a cooperative negotiator attempts to establish
a cooperative, trusting atmosphere, in a negotiation with a tough, non-cooperative
opponent, the cooperative (party) has an alarming tendency to ignore the lack of
cooperation and to pursue his cooperative strategy unilaterally…. In this
David Kolzow 181

