Page 42 - Ruminations

40. Three Jewish jokes

1

Gentile on barstool: I’ll tell you what’s wrong with you Jews: it’s
simply breeding. For a thousand years in your closed societies the
wealthy merchants married their daughters to poor scholars to get
higher social status. That’s what made you crafty, cunning and
argumentative.

Jew next to him: Really? Well, for those same thousand years, your
people put their smartest offspring in monasteries and nunneries.
What did that do to your gene pool?

2

Hitler perceived through his haze of pain and torment that the devil
had descended into the pit where rabbis, artists and professors were
uninterruptedly lashing the Fuehrer with whips dipped in vinegar.

“Come with me,” said the devil. “I’m changing your quarters.”

“Oh, I’m so happy,” gasped Hitler. “This torture is terrible. Anything
would be better.”

“Don’t be so sure,” laughed Old Nick. “The Mormons have
retroactively converted so many of your victims that the Jews cannot
be allowed exclusive rights to punish you.”

“You mean—”

“Yes. Joseph Smith and his apostles will take over now.”

3

Jew 1: You know, with two Jews there are three opinions.

Jew 2: That’s ridiculous. It’s impossible!

Jew 1: Maybe so, maybe not.