Page 23 - Extraterrestrials, Foreign and Domestic

The Hermits

“Al, believe me when I say this: I can get into any computer
connected to a telephone. I can get in, I can go where I want and
do what I want inside it, then get out without leaving any
tracks. You don’t have to try to understand how. Just imagine you
were the only person who could read and write among a group of
savages who treated the written word as sacred.”
Al forced his gaze back to Ricky’s pulsing cranial pseudopods.
“If you can do all that, why do you need me?”
“Ah, excellent!” chirped the alien. “Now we’re getting down to
cases! I am in exile from Korgobix, the planet of my birth. They
left here on my own to perish sooner or later, more or less
miserably. It is a form of punishment not unknown to you here on
Earth. My crime? Selfishness, greed, indifference to my fellow-
beings—call it what you will, it was not tolerated at my level of
responsibility. So here I am, unceremoniously dumped on the first
world they could find with a suitable climate and atmosphere.
From my first hiding place in the empty lot down the street, I
learned all I needed to know of your language and customs. I
admit it was terrible knowledge for an outsider to acquire in my
circumstances. Basic needs drove me out of concealment, dragging
myself under cover of darkness from alleyway to garbage dump,
seeking shelter. And then I found you.”
Ricky’s voice had swelled to an organ stop of buoyant
bonhomie. Al again eyed the telephone.
“Yeah, yeah, we’ve all got a hard luck story. Don’t try to sweet-
talk me, you creep. Answer my question: what do you want here?”
“All right, Al. Just trying to sketch in a little background. No
need to get your back up. Now, what I need is a place to stay,
away from the public, if you know what I mean. Now, as I said, I
could move in upstairs, keep out your hair, and all you have to do
is provide me with groceries. Of course, I require total anonymity.
If your government—or even your fellow citizens—discovered my
presence, I would be in a lot of trouble. Probably wouldn’t last
five minutes. I mean, look at your own reaction.”
“You want me to hide you in my own house?” Al’s head was
throbbing. “You expect me to go to sleep at night knowing you
are up there overhead, and you’re asking me to go through life
pretending nothing’s wrong, nobody or nothing is upstairs?”

22