Page 21 - Extraterrestrials, Foreign and Domestic

The Hermits

“Keep away from me, you—you monstrosity! I’m going to call
the police! I’ll call the zoo, the loony bin, the National Guard! Let
me up!”
“Please, mister, don’t be afraid, don’t be angry. I’ve nowhere
else to go. I’m all alone in the world. I didn’t mean to trespass: I’ve
been looking for food in the alley, and your fence had a hole in it.
I’m starving; I’ll die if I don’t get something to eat soon. Please
help me, mister.”
Al fainted. He revived on his kitchen floor, head against the
wall. Ricky crouched in the doorway to the living room, watching
the old man. Al clenched his fists and mumbled, “Dreaming, only
dreaming. Can’t hurt me if it’s a dream.”
Several of the interloper’s cephalic prominences twitched in the
old man’s direction.
“I hope you can get used to my appearance, Al. If it makes you
feel any better, I must suppress a certain unpleasant reaction to
your body odor. But we can find a way to avoid each other most
of the time. I notice you don’t use the upstairs bedroom or
bathroom very much; perhaps the stairs are becoming difficult for
you. So, I could stay up there with the windows open, and you
wouldn’t have to spend your days looking at me coming and
going. What do you say to that, Al?”
Al gaped. “My name.” he croaked. “You know my name.”
“Oh, yes. I took the liberty of looking through a few of your
papers that were on the desk in the living room. I also found
something to eat. Really hit the spot, Al. I feel much, much
better.”
Osmoser felt much, much worse.
“Invasion! We’ve been invaded! Taken over the government,
the TV stations. Must have been a surprise attack. Now you—you
things are going to colonize the earth, kill us humans or make us
slaves. The whole planet overrun with horrible monsters from
outer space!”
“I understand your concern, Al. Honestly. But, you see, there is
no army of aliens on your planet. Only me. And I’m no threat. I
just want a comfortable place to live out my days, the same as you.
We’re not so different, you and I. That’s why I think we can work
out an arrangement here on 134th Street.”

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