Page 49 - Unlikely Stories 4
P. 49

The Magic Clown

       redo their mistake: no more wishes. And maybe that one wish turned
       out  to  be  something  really  horrible,  like  King  Midas  or  that  Greek
       woman who asked for eternal life but forgot to add eternal youth. The
       only way to beat that was to ask for an unlimited supply of wishes, and
       only  the  genie  had  that power.  Asking  the  question  the  wrong  way
       would not work, either. So I came up with this: ‘Genie,’ I said, ‘I want
       to do what you do—I want to perform magic.’ I have thought about
       that phraseology many times since, and I have not been able to come
       with  anything  free  of  loopholes.  Language  is  too  leaky  a  vessel  to
       contain such a powerful solvent.”
         Riga’s interviewer eyed her recorder. “Just a minute—I have to turn
       over  the  tape.”  While  stopping,  removing,  flipping,  inserting  and
       restarting  the  cassette,  she  fleetingly  wondered  if  the  psychological
       angle could be played up. It was certainly no secret that people paid to
       see the illusion of conjuring because they retained an infantile wish for
       omnipotence, and stage magicians had the talent to project that ability
       in  a  socially  acceptable  context.  That  con  artists  and  cult  leaders
       employed  the  same  techniques  was  a  source  of  repeated
       embarrassment  to  professional  magicians  trapped  between
       maintaining  their  trade  secrets  and  revealing  them  to  debunk  those
       who  misused  them.  But  neither  the  legitimate  stage  magicians  nor
       their  shady  cousins  would  ever  risk  alienating  an  audience  by
       presenting an in-depth analysis of its gullibility. Ms. O’Malley decided
       not to probe her subject’s early childhood experiences.
         “Please continue.”
         “Ah, where was I?  I can remember long-ago events quite well, but I
       can’t tell you where I was in the sequence of relating them. Let’s see. I
       didn’t think the genie was real, I tried to come up with an unbreakable
       request for absolute power, and then…yes, and then the voice said its
       final  words:  ‘That’s  not  what  I  do,  but  you  shall  have  that  ability.’
       Then the great shimmering mass of green light hovering in front of
       me  suddenly  collapsed  into  itself,  just  imploded  in  a  fraction  of  a
       second, and all was quiet. I called out, ‘Okay, you guys, you can come
       out now. Very well done.’ I waited for a minute, contemplating the
       remains of my two-dollar purchase. Silence. I got up, looked around
       my apartment and out in the hall. Nobody there. I searched for hidden
       microphones or speakers. Nothing. I telephoned several of the people
       who could have been capable of such a prank. They were where they
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