Page 51 - Unlikely Stories 4

The Magic Clown

“And then it hit me: the genie was not an illusion and my wish had
been granted: I could perform magic. But not the magic I wanted: I
immediately began wishing for all sorts of things and nothing
happened. I even wished I had a job, just to be reasonable with the
cosmos. Then I tried prestidigitation again, and it worked. Cards,
coins, flowers, silk handkerchiefs, small rodents and pigeons I had to
open the window to get rid of: I could materialize all those hackneyed
objects of the conjurer’s art with a few waves of my hand and a bit of
muttered mumbo-jumbo. But no seven-course meals with golden
goblets, no show girls, no pile of riches—not even day’s interest on
half a king’s ransom. Nevertheless I was doing this sleight of hand
without any props—that had to be worth something! I went to visit a
friend and showed off my new-found talent, defying him to discover
how I could possibly be doing such things, given my well-known
clumsiness and aversion to discipline. He laughed at me and told me
not to try kidding him. I kept insisting it was not a trick, stumbling
around his apartment as I produced the panoply of mundane objects
serving as the stage magician’s stock-in-trade. Finally he stopped me
and said, ‘Look, Tony: it’s a great act—nobody would believe a klutz
like you could perform these tricks. My cousin is going to have a tenth
birthday party next week and maybe you could pick up a few bucks as
the entertainment.’ I told him not to try fooling me and I left. But
then I started thinking. Maybe I couldn’t do real magic, but
performing fake magic was a real profession. All I needed was a
tuxedo and a baton. I started practicing in front of the mirror on the
closet door. That just about ended my career before it started.”
“Why?”
“Because I did not understand the principles of theatrical
illusionism. You are familiar with stage magic, right? The audience is
not in the same frame of mind for this type of performance as it is for
a play or a movie. It does not willingly suspend its disbelief. The
magician is a different sort of actor—he tells you he is going to fool
you, you fall into his hands by focusing your attention where he
misdirects you, and you are fooled. The alternative is for you to
believe in magic, miracles produced on demand for your
entertainment—and nobody believes that, unless they are under the
spell of a charismatic religious leader skilled in hypnosis and
legerdemain. In either case, you must look the part or the audience
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