Page 35 - Unlikely Stories 1
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DeathCon



        life  insurance  companies:  these  heroes  would  be  on  missions
        sanctioned  by  the  military.  Their  families  will  be  proud,  they  will
        demonstrate the continued value of the aged, and the young will be
        spared.”
               “I see. Well, that sure is fascinating, Val. What exactly would
        your company do?”
               “I’m glad you asked, Buell. Let me give you my card.”
               “The Gray Legion. And you are the CEO.”
               “Well, that would be my title, if I end up contracting with the
        government. Otherwise, if the legion becomes an official arm of the
        military  I would require a commission  as  brigadier general. What I
        offer is the unique ability to identify qualified candidates for training
        as suicide bombers. I can separate the men from the old boys, the
        tough  broads  from  the  sob  sisters  and  the  clear-eyed  nationalists
        from the flag-waving wannabes and chicken-hearts. No one else can
        offer this service. Would you like to take some brochures?”
               “No,  thank  you,  Val.  I’m  here  as  a  reporter,  the  host  of
        ‘Wonders Never Cease.’ Can’t show any favoritism, you know. But
        I’d like to thank you for appearing on the show today.”
                “You’re welcome. And a million thanks to you!”
               “Well, folks, I’m afraid we’re running out of time. Too bad: I
        see  lots  of  interesting  exhibits  in  this  aisle:  The  Anti-Blowback
        Generator.  Sleeper  Cell  Injections.  Dragon’s  Teeth  Fluoridation,
        Heat Shock and Luciferase Induction Tracking. And I’m sure curious
        about  that  Buck  Rogers,  invaders-from-Mars  hardware  we  had  to
        pass up. But maybe we’ll be back next year, Thyssen.”
               “Always welcome,  Buell! We’ll  have  another exciting  lineup
        of  bright  ideas  for  tomorrow’s  military  here  at  the  Know-how,
        Research, Innovation, and Enterprise Gathering. Our participants are
        determined not to fight the next war with the last war’s armaments.
        How does it go? ‘We’re doomed if we don’t learn to repeat history?’
        Something like that. Here let me walk you out, and say farewell.”
               “Thanks.  Our  guide  today  has  been  Thyssen  Krupp,  the
        brains behind this great convention of future-thinking individuals and



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