Page 10 - Fables volume 2

As she approached the side of the road, safe at least from its sporadic
but deadly traffic, it seemed to her that no blame could be attached to
anything she had knowingly done in her life. Perhaps, if rumor were
correct, the guilt had been incurred in a past life. But she had no
memory of such an existence, so the infliction of misery was
meaningless in her present embodiment, no better than random
violence committed by an uncaring universe. No, that made no sense.
What else could account for her wretchedness? Perhaps she was
being tested by a benevolent deity, the plagues descending on her for
a higher purpose: demonstration of her superior virtue. That would
require free will on her part, of course: she could choose, through
persevering against the odds, to show that deity her worthiness. And
then her reward would offset all the horrors endured. But what
reason could such a deity have for playing such cruel tricks on his
helpless creatures? Was it for its amusement? Was it in fact a
malevolent god? Because if it had the power to establish the destinies
of all its mortal beings, why should it include agony, sorrow and
wickedness among them? Where, ultimately, was the seat of freedom
of action: in a conscious mind, in a deity—or in the pure
capriciousness of incomprehensible physical reality?
Thus unable to resolve her unpleasant speculations, she continued
down a dirty ditch parallel to the road. Suddenly her progress came to
a halt, the dung ball bumping into an object over which she could not
hoist her load. She released it and wearily turned about to face the
obstacle, expecting to find some way around it. Instead she was
confronted by a larger-than-life-size golden image of herself, a sacred
scarab fallen from a cart. Taken aback, she gazed in awe at the
enameled amulet glowing in late afternoon sunlight. It was a sign! All
the uncertainty was removed in an instant.
With renewed vigor and resolve she skirted the massive idol and
headed for home with her cargo. Now she knew the answer: no
wonder the apportionment of good and evil was unfathomable! She
couldn’t figure it out—and she herself was the deity!

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