Page 49 - Fables volume 2

The Witnesses

“Your Honor, I request that you declare these witnesses hostile.”
The judge frowned, gavel raised.
“Mr. Prosecutor, is this one witness or three? They appear
identical. Are you trying to make a mockery of this court?”
“No, not at all, Your Honor. I need you to stop them from moving
their hands around, from their eyes to their ears to their mouths. It’s
very distracting. Their testimony is crucial to my case, as no other
witnesses were at the scene of the crime. I must be able to ask leading
questions or, in the last resort, impeach any or all of them.”
“Has the defense any objection?”
“None at all, Your Honor: my client has nothing to fear from the
truth—providing this bizarre trio can coherently produce it.” Wide-
eyed, the defendant’s lawyer raised his shaggy eyebrows, the picture
of injured innocence.
“Your Honor! Counsel for the defense is besmirching the
character of my witnesses! His tricks are well known to this court.”
“I agree. Strike that comment from the record.” He turned to the
jury. “You will disregard that remark.” The panel members nodded
slightly. A cry of protest burst from the onlookers. The judge banged
his gavel. “Order in the court! Bailiff: remove whoever is responsible
for that outburst!” He composed himself. “You may proceed with
the questioning, Mr. Prosecutor. If the witnesses do not sit still they
will be held in contempt.”
“Thank you, Your Honor. Witness number one: did you see the
defendant on the night of May sixteenth?”
“No. I saw nothing.”
“Witness number two: did you hear what the defendant said that
night?”
“No, not at all.”
“Witness number three: can you tell me what the defendant was
doing on that night?”
“No.”
The prosecutor turned to his opposite number: “Your witnesses.”

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