Page 7 - Effable Encounters

Jack-in-the-box

“Whoa! Hold on, there, Jack! I refuse to be the subject of these
pain-inducing experiments. Listen: it worked! I’ve done it! The
mapping is perfect. I can remember everything. Tomorrow I’ll call a
press conference and see about taking out a patent. This is great!”
Jack-in-the-body tempered his own enthusiasm. “Wait a minute. If
you know everything I do, then what is the user-supplied code that
completes the program?”
Jack-in-the-box recited the string of instructions, halting briefly at a
point in the sequence recognized by Jack-in-the-body as the same
place he had trouble recalling the code.
“Very good,” said the latter. “Now, what was my favorite sandwich
when I was a little boy?”
“Peanut butter and grape jelly.”
“Okay. Now let me think: what else could I test you on?” Jack-in-
the-body looked around the office for something he had never
observed or thought about before.
“Get something I couldn’t know anything about, and ask me about
it,” said Jack-in-the-box.
“I am, I am,” said Jack-in-the-body impatiently. He seized a book
of puzzles left behind by a co-worker, a diversion for which he had
no time. He opened it at random. “Here’s a question: what is the
crime for which you could never be found guilty by a jury of your
peers?”
The answer was revealed near the end of the book, and Jack-in-
the-body riffled rapidly through the intervening pages. He had no
idea of the answer.
“Uh, let’s see.” Jack-in-the-box equivocated. “Got to be a trick in
there. Why ‘peers’?”
“Aha! You give up?” said Jack-in-the-body. He had it now.
“Oh, all right. If you admit you didn’t know it either—I mean:
couldn’t figure it out, given the prior contents of your brain.”
“Here it is: failure to appear for jury duty.”
Jack-in-the-box thought about it for a moment. “What? Oh, I get
it. Peers. By definition, those who all fail to show up.”
Jack-in-the-body threw down the book. He was suddenly very
tired; a hot meal and a soft pillow beckoned. “Okay. That’s enough.
I’m packing it in. Tomorrow will be a big, big day.”
“Now, wait a minute: what are you going to do there?”

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