Page 10 - Effable Encounters
P. 10
Batrachomyomachy
General Bullcroak’s informants within the military-scientific
establishment had warned him of Lonestone’s deviations; the general
could have yanked the maverick genius from the project, but decided
instead to give him free rein until the nature of the professor’s private
project became perfectly clear. Thus Lonestone received a warm
welcome at frog GHQ; he barely noticed the deference, being a
sufferer of chronic preoccupation. He squatted down next to the
great green fighting frog and began talking immediately.
“General,” said he, squinting bulbously, “I shall not mince words
with you. I have found the solution to our conflict with the mice.”
“Indeed?” boomed Bullcroak. “I would be delighted to hear about
your discovery, professor.”
The scientist sat back on his withered haunches and began rapidly,
gesticulating jerkily with his forelegs to emphasize his words.
“Reviewing the state of military preparedness with you would be
superfluous, sir; you must be well aware that one false move could set
in motion forces ensuring the downfall of both species, mice and
frogs. That our dispute with the rodents should have developed to
this terrifying brink of disaster was inevitable. Necessity, in the form
of a perceived threat to survival, drove our ingenuity onward to
invent ever more potent means of offense and counter-offense.
When I realized the ultimate deadlock had been reached, my
thoughts returned to the source of the conflict.”
General Bullcroak sat silently, a glistening monument to batrachian
masculinity. Although the better part of his attention was attuned to
the professor’s oration, his eyes never left the horizon, where the
fortifications of no-animal’s land rose in jagged counterpoint to the
smooth and slimy edge of the pond. For him, the source of conflict
existed in space, not time.
“The answer at which I arrived may seem absurdly simple,”
Lonestone continued, “but it simply is absurd, given our present state
of fundamental knowledge. The problem is that we are different.
Mice and frogs have so many points of difference that conflicts must
arise at every turn when the two species are placed in proximity, as in
our case. I have pored over the literature, and am convinced that no
amount of intellectual juggling will ever produce a frog or a mouse
capable of coexisting peacefully with members of the other group.
History also shows that conflicts such as ours usually end in violence
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