Page 11 - The Gluckman Occasional Number Three

“No, dear, I didn’t say that.” The old lady hobbled into the parlor.
“My phone connection has been awful lately, a lot of clicks and
echoes on the line. What I told her was I needed to get the
government off my back, but not before they fixed my back so it’s
good again. Go ahead and ask her, if you don’t believe me.”
Little-read Riot Act opened the front door and the mysterious
figure entered the room. “Henny Penny?” she said, grinning
wolfishly. “That little Red hen? We’ve already picked her up. Your
subversive terrorist cell is finished, Grandma. Put the cuffs on her,
Jack.”
Grandma started to demand her rights, but stopped when she saw
the array of weaponry pointed at her. All she could utter was, “My,
what big indictments you have!”

Mac and the Beansprout

Little Mac, who had the franchise for a roadside hamburger stand,
discovered one day he was running out of meat. He called corporate
headquarters. They told him to take his last hundred dollars, go to the
local slaughterhouse and buy the cheapest beef on sale. But on the
way he met a sales representative from a company called Mondomino
who sold him magic beans instead. They were guaranteed to help
Mac adulterate any ground meat and make cheaper burgers.