Page 56 - SYTYGIB Prehistoric Times

the beginning of written history
Oooooh, it’s SO annoying when your classmates find out a VERY IMPORTANT SECRET that you’ve been trying to hide from them.
You’d wrapped your packed lunch box in 17 layers of tinfoil and sprayed it with your dad’s most EyE-wAtErInG aftershave just to mask the lovely aroma. But it hadn’t worked.
That’s right, they’ve discovered that you have one of your mum’s famous marshmallow and fudge chocolate brownies.
And what do your friends do when they make this AmAZInGlY AwEsOmE discovery? They iNvAdE your lunchbox of course. And all you’re left with are crumbs and memories.
But if you think YoU’vE GoT iT BaD, at least your lunchbox hasn’t been invaded by an all-powerful army of sword and spear-wielding Roman warriors! Unless they rEaLlY like your mum’s brownies and have a very spacious time machine.
So this is the bit where this part of deep history, aka prehistoric times, comes to an end and for some people written history starts.
FANCY THAT!
It was said that when Emperor Caligula attempted to invade Britain in 40 AD his army was set to cross the English Channel when he changed his mind and ordered his soldiers to collect seashells instead! He sent them back to Rome and claimed he had conquered the ocean. Just to be clear, picking up a couple of whelks and a cockle does NOT mean you own the sea.
You see, while the Romans brought much suffering to the lands they invaded, by way of their habit of poking people with ShArP tHiNgS until they were slightly on the dead side, they also brought written language and recorded what was going on.
And so history was born. Awwww – ickle baby history. Sweet.
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