Page 145 - Reason To Sing by Kelita Haverland

Chapter Twenty-Five

much I need this. I have been desperate for so long to feel like
I belong. Like I am cared for. It’s all intoxicating. I don’t ever
want these feelings to end.
Sometimes in the early morning hours, just like this, he lets
me talk and talk. I talk a lot about all the things that happened
to me growing up. I talk about how much I miss my parents.
How much it still hurts. I can get really emotional. And he
just holds me and lets me cry. Sometimes I cry a lot. It’s like
I am in possession of a great river of heartache and the river
has been held back by a giant dam. But little by little, ever so
gradually, the dam is weakening and all the barricaded sadness
and pain is being allowed to flow. Sometimes it’s a slow and
steady stream, other times it is fast moving rapids. Or beautiful
gushing waterfalls. It is all powerful. He seems to understand
my grief and all my suffering and it brings us closer together.
The more he lets me share with him, the more I love him. The
more I need him.
Even though I had a boyfriend when I left Calgary, I don’t
think either of us expected a long-distance relationship to
work. Not really. Stephen and I had a lot in common. In our
final year of high school we played opposite each other in “My
Fair Lady.” That was very romantic. He was a very kind person
with such a gentle soul. We wrote letters for awhile and he
even came to visit me once.
But this. This is different. I have never felt like this before.
Not the way I feel with Hudson. I can honestly say Hudson is
my first true love.
We met two years ago when I first arrived at York University.
It was “Frosh” week and everything was new and a little
intimidating. I was a bit nervous and yes, even a little shy (I can
be in certain situations). Arriving in Toronto from Calgary was
almost like landing on the moon - a huge and blinding cultural

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