Page 204 - Reason To Sing by Kelita Haverland

Reason To Sing

Could this be what real happiness feels like?
But every fairytale must come to an end. As Gord and I
board the military aircraft, the reality of what is awaiting me
at home kicks in. Staring out the small window with Gord
seated next to me, knowing that this will all soon end, I feel a
hurricane of anxiety wash over me. The familiarity of this pure,
agonizing fear makes it no less palatable. Within minutes I am
drowning in it.
“You okay? What’s wrong?” Gord can sense my change in
mood instantly.
I lean closer to him and whisper softly, “I don’t want this
to end. I can’t stand the thought of going back home. It just
makes me sick.”
Gord takes my hand and looks directly into my eyes. “You
know what you need to do. You can’t continue to live like this.
It’s driving you crazy. You deserve so much better.”
Gord knows my whole story. We’ve had plenty of travel
time over the course of the last month for him to hear it all.
And he has been nothing but supportive.
“I know. You’re right. But you don’t know him. It’s hard to
understand.”
“I know that it is something you really need to do for
yourself, Kelita. It’s long overdue.” He touches my cheek gently.
“I know. I know. I’m such a disaster.” The tears are starting
to fall.
“No, no you’re not,” he whispers, wiping away a tear. “Don’t
say that.”
I look back at him in wonder. How can this beautiful man
be so understanding, so caring and so kind?
“Thank you, Gord. Thank you for everything. I know what
I need to do but I just don’t know how to do it! I’m so tired of
it all.”

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