Page 13 - Sacred Gift

The ego can be enormously deceptive. It thrives on low self-esteem by pushing me to the ever increasing need to succeed – to prove worthiness.
On the positive side, I started a consulting firm, wrote my first book and became an international speaker.
But through all this, the inadequacy was still there. I was not enough. I was on the same speaking platform with Donald Trump and other world leaders in Malaysia. I felt less than – not enough – even though I was at a high echelon. I kept wondering why I was there. They must have made a mistake bringing me in with such world leaders.
After 30 years of a continual financial decline, that fear came to the fore. We had already sold our homes in Vermont, Memphis and Colorado.
The final straw
I had accepted a Chief Executive Officer position for a Park City, Utah start-up in what was called active daylighting – mirrors that tracked the sun reflecting light into the building.
It was a great product, but this is where my self-esteem issues finally brought me to my knees.
We lost the company, our home in Park City, Utah and virtually everything that we owned outside of our furniture, cars and clothes.
We went from being multi-millionaires three times in our lives to dead broke. We owed more than we had. It’s called negative net worth – goes along with negative self-worth.
We left the mountains with the little that we had, and moved to Atlanta where our son and his family lived. Karen had to go back to work to support us.
I had hit bottom
Psychic Ted’s next two steps down the slope from the pinnacle, described earlier, had become my reality. I was now in the valley, lost and depressed.
Intuition: Your Sacred Gift 10