Page 128 - Gyananda YearBook 2022-23

126

PERFECTLY

FLAWED

It was raining heavily that day, the day I left. As if the heavens were bewailing my departure, I had to
leave everything and everyone I'd ever called mine till now. I do not know when it started. Maybe
that’s when the gates of hell swung open. That day, I shifted to a new place, a place which I was totally
unaware of. Everything was so new. But it all happened so suddenly that I could not even bid my last
farewells and send my last regards to the people I knew I would never cross paths with again. It hit me
like a hurricane, the loss of my friends, who were my soul and loved ones, who were my heart. I was
deeply buried in remorse for all the hurtful things I had said to them, which I never really meant. I was
numb with pain and a feeling of loneliness. And when I regained my senses, I found myself shattered
into a million pieces.

That's when my descent into inferno began, but there
was no vigil to guide me along the way. My green life is
just a piece of barren land now. I could not understand
how all my cherished moments and happy memories
could turn on me and get stuck like a dagger in my heart.
My colourful world is just shades of grey now. The
demons of my mind and the cravings of my heart never
left me alone. I was once a daisy, but now I'm just a
poisoned flower. I went deeper into my own inferno. But
weirdly, I liked it. The pain my wounds inflicted on me,
being led by the monsters of my mind. I was addicted to
the forbidden pleasure hidden in pain. And then there
was a time when I was face to face with Satan himself,
and the exit was right in front of me, but I didn't want to
leave. I fell for the darkness of my mind.

I didn’t want to feel the sun on my skin again; I just wanted to cave into my dark side. But then one day,
I realised that the silence was overtaking my soul and would be unbreakable if I did not break it now. I
admired the beauty of silence a lot, but I could not afford to lose myself. Even though I was tempted to
stay in Inferno, I knew I had to one day climb Mount Purgatorio and finally reach Paradiso. At that

moment, I knew it was time to break free from the monsters of my mind. I basked in the sun, and while
it initially burned my eyes, I realised that nothing, absolutely nothing, can compare to the daylight. The
air carries with it the scent of earth, the vast blue of the sky which spreads to infinity, the tiny plantlets
breaking out of the soil, the green swinging trees with their shadows dancing on the streets, the sweet
melody of the chorus sung by the tiny birds; how could I forget this enchanting and breathtaking view?