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they’re afraid to be human and they’re afraid to challenge others. And so overcoming that is going to
make you a better boss whether you’re managing millennials or not.”
Why do millennials crave feedback?
Young people in general, not just millennials, “want to grow,” Scott told me. “They want to grow fast in
their careers. Again, because of this empowerment, because a lot of millennials have peers who have
started companies that are worth hundreds of millions of dollars, they’re hungry to grow quickly. And
they know that the way to grow is to learn from your mistakes and to know what’s going well.”
“It’s your obligation as a leader to give them that feedback. And it’s your obligation not only to the
person who wants to grow -- you want them to grow, too, because growing means better work.”
How do you get started, especially with a new employee/new report?
Feedback is best when you know the person, but boundaries still exist and
matter, Scott says. “Part of caring personally is respecting other people’s
privacy and respecting their space. … It means being concerned for the
other person’s growth.”
One critical story about building trust from “Radical Candor” revolves
around a puppy, not a person, It illustrates how a lack of feedback can
have real consequences, but also that how you go about feedback
matters and the relationship both parties has matters.

Scott’s puppy, Belvedere, was spoiled and thus was itching to dash into
a crowded street. A nearby stranger said, “I can see you really love your
dog” even as he went on to admonish her to train the dog -- and order
the dog to sit. This is a great example of making an initial connection, to show that he cares, the on-
the-street equivalent of telling an employee, “I can see you really care about your work.” Next came
the direct challenge.
As Scott relays in the book:
“‘But that dog will die if you don’t teach her to sit!’ Direct, almost breathtakingly so. Then, without asking
for permission, the man bent down to Belvy, pointed his finger at the sidewalk, and said with a loud, firm
voice, ‘SIT!’ She sat. I gaped in amazement. He smiled and explained, ‘It’s not mean. It’s clear!’ The light
changed and he strode off, leaving me with words to live by.
Think for a second about how this might have gone down. The man could have easily said something
judgmental (‘you have no right to own a dog if you don’t know how to take care of one!’) and thus
left me defensive and unwilling to take his simple but essential advice. Instead, he acknowledged my
love for the dog, and explained why his recommendation was the right way to go (not mean, clear!).
There was a decent chance I would tell him to go to hell and mind his own business, but he didn’t let
that stop him. He was, in his own way, a leader — and I suspect that he’s a good boss in his day job.
One way to show that you care is to actually offer some criticism, but show that you’re offering it in
a way that’s meant to be helpful, that it’s humble, that’s it’s intended with kindness,” Scott told me.
“Another way to show that you care and challenge directly is to praise people -- to tell them exactly
what they’re doing that is working, and that is good, to help them do more of it, to help them grow
faster.”

Praise and criticism are not either/ors, she says. You can challenge with praise, show you care with
criticism, and vice versa.

PAGE 10 | Spring 2017 InLeague