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Don’t sit on feedback
Whether you’re the boss or the report, don’t wait too long on feedback. “With our boss, we let feedback
pile up, and then by the time we give it, we’re so mad that we’re not speaking rationally anymore …
but not if you’re furious. Wait until you’re calm.”
Other caveats:
• Whenever possible, try to deliver this feedback quickly but also in person.
• Praise publicly and give criticism privately.
• Talk about behaviors and actions, not people’s personalities.
Career conversations are another way to be candid

Another path is helping people think about what’s next for them, with Scott crediting her Candor Inc.
co-founder Russ Laraway with exploring the topic deeply. This also helps you get to know people while
learning about what motivates them and what they dream about -- not just promotions, but the bigger
picture.
“When you understand what motivates people at work and what their dreams are for their lives and
their careers, you’re going to do a much better job putting together a career action plan that helps
them” short and long term, Scott told me.
What about advice for millennials trying to get feedback?
We already know many millennials crave feedback, but how do they know when it’s the right time to
do so? When is it both safe and smart to give feedback or seek feedback?
Scott talked about four key steps:

1. Have a question that breaks through people’s reluctance.
2. “Embrace the discomfort.”
3. Listen for understanding.
4. “Reward the candor.”
“First of all, start out by soliciting feedback, don’t start out by giving it. You want to know what’s going on
in the minds of people you’re working with and you want to understand things from their perspective.
Figure out a way to ask for feedback from your boss, if you’re a millennial.”
Scott continued, noting that this advice is not necessarily limited to millennials or bosses. “Figure out
what it is you want to know. Maybe it’s something specific about a meeting and how you did in that
meeting, or some work you did. Or maybe it’s something more general. One of the questions I like to
ask is, ‘Is there anything I could do or stop doing to make it easier to work with me?’”
OK, so you’ve asked for feedback. Then what? Well, you probably won’t get a lot of feedback at first
-- people don’t like giving feedback!
“And so what you need to do is embrace the discomfort,” Scott said. “First of all, figure out a question
that’s going to make it difficult for someone to say, ‘oh, everything’s fine.’” Admit you aren’t perfect!
Then, it’s important to listen, and not talk. Count to six, Scott says. That six seconds is a lot of silence,
and it will draw out some kind of feedback from the other person. The third key step is “to listen with the
intent to understand, not to respond.” Accept the feedback, and use it to fix the problem.

On the other hand, if you disagree, try applying the parts you are OK with. Then, after a day or two,
Scott says, try circling back with your boss with your perspective on the issue.
Only after all of this should you be responding. But consider praise first, not criticism. Even after that,
Scott says, start small with criticism, and ask permission. If you get rejected? Well, you’ll know it’s time to
look elsewhere.

Spring 2017 InLeague | PAGE 11