Page 14 - Sound Rides February 2022

JIMS JOKES

Two men were talking. “So, how’s your sex life?”
“Oh, nothing special. I’m having Social Security
I was at a sophisticated dinner party the other sex.” “Social Security sex?”
day… when I farted loudly. One of the guests was “Yeah, you know, I get a little each month, but not
appalled and said indignantly, “How dare you fart enough to live on.”
in front of my wife!” I said, “I’m sorry, I didn’t
realize it was her turn next. A farmer buys a young rooster. As soon as he
brings the bird to the farm, it rushes & has its way
with all 150 Hens. The farmer is impressed thinking
about all the eggs the hens would hatch. At lunch,
the rooster again screws all 150 hens. The farmer
gets a bit worried now. The next day, he finds the
rooster having it’s way with the ducks, geese, & a
parrot too which is now scaring him. Later that
day, he finds the rooster
lying pale, half-dead with
vultures circling over
its head. The farmer says,
“You horny bastard, you
deserve this.”
The rooster opens one eye,
A lady goes to the doctor and complains that her points up, & whispers, “Shh!
don’t shout, let them land!”
husband is losing interest in sex. The doctor gives
her a pill, but warns her that it’s still experimental.
He tells her to slip it into his mashed potatoes at
dinner, so that night, she does just that. About a
week later, she’s back at the doctor, where she
says, “Doc, the pill worked great! I put it in the
potatoes like you said! It wasn’t five minutes later
that he jumped up, raked all the food and dishes
onto the floor, grabbed me, ripped all my clothes
off, and ravaged me right there on the table!” The
doctor says, “I’m sorry, we didn’t realize the pill
was that strong! The foundation will be glad to
pay for any damages.” “Nah,” She says, “That’s
okay. We’re never going back to that restaurant
anyway.”

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