Page 13 - Sound Rides April 2022

JIMS JOKES

Martian sex
It's 2022 and Mike and Maureen land on Mars after
accumulating enough frequent flier miles. The first
thing they see is a Martian couple. Mike and
Maureen naturally want to know how they have
sex. She goes straight to the point: "So how do you
guys do it?" asks Maureen. "Like you do, I think,"
says the male Martian, "but maybe we'd better
check it out to be sure!" So, after some discussion,
they all agree to swap partners for one night.

Maureen and the male Martian go off to a bedroom
where the Martian strips. He's got only a tiny penis
about half an inch long and just a quarter inch
thick. "I don't think this is going to work," says
Maureen, disappointed beyond belief. The male
Martian looks puzzled. "Why not?" he asks, "What's
the matter?" "Well," she replies, "it's just not long
enough to go inside me!"

"No problem," he says, and starts to slap his
forehead with his hand. With each slap, his d**k
grows till it's actually pretty long. "Well," she says,
"that's very impressive, but it's still quite
narrow...." "No problem," says the male Martian,
and he starts pulling his ears. With each pull, his

Mick goes to the vet with his goldfish. "I think it's d**k grows wider and wider until it's huge! "Wow!"
shouts Maureen, before they fall into bed and
got epilepsy", he tells the vet. make mad, passionate love.
Vet takes a look and says, it seems calm enough to
me”. Next day the two couples rejoin their normal
Mick says, ”I haven't taken it out of the bowl yet.” partners and go their separate ways. As they walk
along, Mike says to Maureen, "Well, was it any
good?"

"I hate to say it," replies Maureen, "but it was
pretty wonderful. How about you?"

"It was horrible," says Mike, "all I got was a terrible
headache. She just kept slapping my forehead and
pulling my ears."

O'Reilly went to trial for armed robbery. The jury
foreman came out and announced, ”Not guilty.'
“That's grand!” shouted O'Reilly. “Does that mean I
can keep the money?”

A black guy in the
library asked me
where the
coloured printers
were.
I said, "Dude, it's
2022, you can use
any printer you
want."

Page 13