Page 13 - Sound Rides Oct 2022
P. 13
I recently asked a friend, “Has your son decided
what he wants to be when he grows up?”
JIMS JOKES “Yes, he wants to be a rubbish collector,” my friend
said.
“That’s an unusual ambition to have at such a
young age,” I managed to reply.
“Well,” said the boy’s father, “he thinks that
rubbish collectors only work on Tuesdays.”
I asked a
Chinese girl
Q..How do you keep your car for her
from being stolen? number.
A..Buy one with a manual She said,
gearbox. "Sex! Sex!
Sex! Sex!
Sex! Free
sex!" I said,
"Wow!"
My friend, who’s a nurse in an emergency Then her
department, was telling me about a patient who friend said,
arrived with a gash in his head. Apparently the "She means
man was a farmer, and he and his son were 66666-36."
working in a field when he’d felt a stone in his
boot. He’s tried to shake his foot to work the stone On their way to get married, a young Catholic
out but – finding it difficult to keep his balance – couple is involved in a fatal car accident. The
he decided to hold onto a fence pole. couple found themselves sitting outside the Pearly
The son, looking up from what he was doing, Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into
noticed his father standing on one leg shaking Heaven. While waiting, they began to wonder:
vigorously and thought he was holding onto the Could they possibly get married in Heaven? When
electrified fence. St. Peter showed up, they asked him. St. Peter
Grasping a large stick, the son whacked his dad to said, "I don't know. This is the first time anyone
break his hold on the fence, causing the injury to has asked. Let me go find out,'" and he left. The
his head. couple sat and waited, and waited. Two months
Stitches were required to mend the wound, passed and the couple were still waiting. While
although I’m not sure if the father is talking to his waiting, they began to wonder what would happen
son yet. if it didn't work out; could you get a divorce in
heaven? After yet another month, St. Peter finally
returned, looking somewhat bedraggled. "Yes," he
informed the couple, "You can get married in
Heaven." "Great!" said the couple, "But we were
just wondering, what if things don't work out?
Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?" St. Peter,
red-faced with anger,
slammed his clipboard onto
the ground. "What's wrong?"
asked the frightened couple.
"OH, COME ON!," St. Peter
shouted, "It took me three
months to find a priest up
here! Do you have any idea
how long it'll take me to find
a lawyer?"
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