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time management

Behind this desire may even lurk the fear that, if you don’t
work so hard, those around you will stop accepting you.
2. The guilt syndrome. “It’s difficult to say ‘no’ when some-
one asks you to serve on a not-for-profit board, or chair a
committee, or attend a fund-raiser for a very worthy cause,”
writes Jan Benson Wright, editor of The Peoria Woman.
“When we decline, we are often inclined to shoulder a
subsequent burden of guilt, because ‘superwoman’ failed
to come through as expected.” Sometimes that guilt can
cloud our objectivity.
3. The myth of indispensability. Rather than kindness, your
effort may in part be motivated by arrogance. Perhaps you
don’t let others do the job because, deep down, you don’t
believe anyone else can do it or do it as well as you can.
You’ve taken to heart the adage “If you want a job done
right, do it yourself.”
4. The fear of expendability. What if you didn’t show up for work
and nobody noticed? On some basic, subconscious level, you
may be afraid that the moment you stop all your efforts, people
will discover that they don’t really need you at all. Or, you may
feel this on a very conscious and practical level, and need to
reinforce your importance to your organization.
5. The Martyr Syndrome. Do you secretly enjoy bearing the
burdens of an overworked schedule? Do you believe that it’s
your lot in life to suffer—in a time management sense?

Reasons three and four may seem mutually exclusive, but
they’re not. It’s quite possible to feel both ways at the same time.
Just as you can be in a “love/hate relationship,” you can feel both
indispensable and expendable.

If any of these motivations apply to you, and you’re able to admit
it, you may be saying “yes” because it satisfies some need or quells a
fear more painful than the loss of time from accepting more duties.

Understanding this about yourself is the first big step in sum-
moning the courage to say “no.”

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