Page 31 - Relationships101 A Guide To Building Healthy Relationships Final 1

The Wrap Up

By now, you should be beginning to understand why being comfortable with being vulnerable and
100% transparent from day one is critical to the formation of a solid foundation in any relationship.

I worked with a clinical psychologist who told me, no matter what a person portrays when you first
meet them, within 6 months you will have seen who a person really is. People spend a lot of time
and put in a lot of work trying to continue being the representative of who they were when they
first met you. When you decide that you want to be with someone, it is important to take off the the
mask completely off. The reason the cultivation of vulnerability and transparency is important is
because when you get married, the true self starts unveiling. It should not be much of a surprise as
to who is under the veil if people honestly express who they are. It is important to share your
hopes, fears, insecurities, what angers you, what you like or do not like, and say what you really
think from day one. That would let the other person know exactly who they are dealing with and
therefore decide if they feel compatible.

Healthy relationships require being transparent and taking time to get to know each other’s
personality, temperament, character, level of integrity, ethics, principles, values, virtues, morals,
scruples, hang-ups, likes, dislikes, fears, boundaries, and scars.

It is important to have experiences with a person you plan to build a life of friendship or romance
with. Experiences allow you to learn as much as you can about them. It also affords you the ability
to share as much about yourself as you can. Learning about each other’s strengths and weaknesses
while building a supportive environment is what creates a foundation of understanding and
provides you with information about yourself and the other person that will help you navigate
through the inevitable storms and challenges that comes with relationships. Marriage is a journey
of two separate people working to become one.

It is honest, transparent communication that provides a good understanding of who each other
organically is. This is what is missed when time is not taken to learn a person. That includes taking
time to learn yourself.

Your ability to be intimate, as well as the depth of your intimacy with others, are determined by how
intimately you know yourself. Simply put, intimacy begins with you. How much do you know about
yourself? Is it time to get intimate with yourself to learn who you truly are?

Please answer the questions in the Personal Assessment on the next page to find out. Use the blank
sheets at the end of the assessment if you need more space for your answers.

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