Page 26 - Relationships101 A Guide To Building Healthy Relationships Final 1

I loved my family more than I loved myself. I love them still. But I had to learn how to love myself
enough to acknowledge when someone’s behavior is wrong. Even when the behavior is coming from
someone who is supposed to love me. I had to learn not to give people a license to hurt me just because
they have a title in my life.

I thought they were an automatic support system because of their title. Father, mother, sister, brother.
Who wouldn’t? That is why I kept going back. Once I realized there was no healthy support coming
from them, I had to accept that and build my own healthy support system.

It took a long time for me to realize this was what I needed to do because I believe in family and I did
not recognize that the damage to my life was coming from family until it bit me a few times for me to
wake up. Now my life is peaceful. And I am not tripping over hidden toxic land mines anymore.

I took this out of the first article to address it here: Let us take advantage of our support system, learn to
trust and rely on them. Let us share the load of our emotional triggers. This helps. But only when you
have built a healthy support system. If your support system is not supportive, you can define what a
healthy support system is for you and start building it now. For those of you who are in a toxic marriage
or a toxic committed relationship, or live in a toxic environment with your family or a friend, be careful
that you do not allow your circumstances to keep you from dealing with your reality. You do not have
to change it overnight. But you should address it within yourself to start the journey of healing it. Be
prepared if you are unable to heal it if the other parties refuse to cultivate dialogue with you so you can
resolve any issues. If not, 10 years from now, the issue will not have gone away. In fact, it may grow
branches that choke the life out of your connection. If it is domestic violence toxicity, please seek
professional assistance with solving the issue.

Ignoring the problem will not make it go away. This applies to both intimate bonds and family/friend
relationships and is a major reason why families continue to follow dysfunctional patterns for decades. It
is also a major reason why the divorce rate continues to get higher each year.

All human existence is based on relations. No relationships, no babies, no babies, no people! Without
relations that lead to relationships that create people, there would be a shortage of people and the world
would cease to progress.

What amazes me is that mankind has been on this earth for millennia. We universally know what
healthy food is. We know the importance of exercise and eating well, and because of that, we have
thousands of food and workout options. We know the basics of proper dental care, so we go to the
dentist for a checkup every six months. And yet, we cannot seem to come to a distinct conscious
universal understanding of what healthy love is and what it is not.

The quality of existence for mankind is dependent on how healthy our relationships are. We can send
people to other planets, but we cannot land on a universally known healthy way to treat one another.

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