Page 35 - The Staunch Test
P. 35
THE STAUNCH TEST
Best Date Rapist
Nick Bayley - Alison Rose
Photo: Chris Parker
“Here she is, such a seasoned actress,
taking the award for ‘Best Battered Wife in
a Minor Subplot’. This was a resounding
performance as the frightened wife
lingering in doorways and signalling her
plight with glances to the camera. This
couple were barely relevant to the main
story, but judges were united about the
truth she brought to her role. This is how
it’s done!”
Oriane Kirkwood - Alan Anthony
Photo: Chris Parker
“Next up, the Staunch Award for’ Best Date
Rapist’. He could have any woman he
wants, so who’d believe he’d have to spike
a girl’s drink to her in the sack!? Judges
were gripped by this actor’s virtuoso
gaslighting as he defended his reputation
against her muddled accusations – just as
he’d recently had to do in real life! So Best
Date Rapist for him, but let’s not forget the
plucky performance of his companion,
