Page 15 - Summer 22

Prover Three
I experienced a white yellow glow with no borders and then it was like a vapour expanding and spreading.
I saw an eye and the iris was blue and jewel like.
Then the eye was like a distant hole, and everything went into it as if it was retracted or pulled or sucked in.
There was a sense of losing what was – peace and expanse – all has changed – tight, retreat, no control going towards an ending and sucked into nothing.
I had to go because the sucking hole was so big and powerful.
Prover Four
The glass was ice cold, and my heart was beating irregularly, and I felt that beating in my bottom lip.
My earlobes felt heavy as if I was wearing heavy earrings and my big toes had a gouty feeling.
I had an ache in my solar plexus and other places. It was like the ache Jesus would have felt with the nails in his hands.
A feeling of ultimate sacrifice leading to death.
Darkness but knowledge and wisdom could be gained through sacrifice.
The ultimate depletion could lead to ultimate knowledge, and after such sacrifice the self could be connected to everything.
I had an image of an emerald green structure like a colander with regular rows of holes.
A tiny creature popped out from a hedge and it was curious and sweet.
I had an image of a dark hole like a vacuum with colours around it as you would see in a picture of a nebula.
A sense of being sucked into the hole – flowing in . Being sucked into the hole was not threatening but it was like being on a journey where you are pulled in quickly and the anxiety is ‘where am I going on this journey?’
You become nothing, but that’s actually a feeling of comfort because you join with everything when you’re out of your body.
I also had an image of three trees on the horizon with a light behind them like a sunset, but it wasn’t a sunset.
Prover Five
I had a sensation of tingling and all the images I saw were on the left-hand side.
I had an image or a sense of the murmuration of things. There was a royal green colour.
I had lots of images of a woman wearing a royal blue ancient cultural fabric as clothing.
I had the sensation that a seed was planted in my womb – walnut shaped – and there was some discomfort.
I had an itchy cheek on the left-hand side and my nose was very cold. In fact, generally I felt very cold.
I had an earache that was throbbing on both sides and a dry mouth.
I had a sense of the loss of myself in a vacuum (prover weeping) the loss of ancient wisdom and knowledge and trees going to no trees left.
It is like the ancient trees, like oak trees, are destroyed and the pagan past is gone. My thoughts resonate with an image of the green man with horns that was on my friend’s T-shirt or a raven.
It is so cold.
Prover Six
I am chilled. I see ice, snowflakes and it is wet and grey like grey paint being brushed and I am the paint. This is pure basic and simple and smooth and flowing and surreal. I am part of the flow of the paint like I’m just existing in the ether, right here, right now - like nothing.
I am really cold. I have a sensation that my head is expanding with a slight throbbing and I have a pain in a line
across my shoulders.
Prover Seven
My fingers were pulsating around the glass, and I had an image of me floating around green hedges and it was peace and pure freedom.
There was a flash of blue and I felt so free like I was in the sea and peace.
However, I have a massive emotional lump inside and am gripped by sadness. The freedom is like swimming in hedges.
I had a tingling in my left eye extending to above my left ear.
I felt warm and present and in the now and there was a feeling of swirling like a centrifuge in my hands as they held the glass.
Prover Eight
A feeling of being in a peaceful space with the wind, open space, and a vision of two parallel dark navy objects like sails, which are in a field. A feeling of being in the now which is a long-awaited feeling like in the air with smooth flow and no borders.
A feeling of expansiveness where you could go whatever you wanted as opposed to a feeling of constriction and not being allowed.
Mouth is dry
Prover Nine (myself as master prover knowing the origin of the substance)
Feeling hyper alert and very sensitive to animal noises outside.
A feeling of rocking from side to side quite fast as if I was unstable, together with images of a row of towers falling. A sense of sadness and pointlessness as if screaming was fading into the distance.
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continued on p14