Page 16 - Summer 22

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A sensation of contraction in the left ankle and calf. Feeling totally blown out
Proving 2021
Meditative
Prover 1
I felt something that was overall an old feeling – heavy, dry, bent over, withered, constricted, old, ancient and stuck and old and dry.
Heavy, really, really heavy.
Ancient is the word, alive but distorted, crumpled, withered drained dry old, so heavy that it can’t be up straight.
Energy-less, something that can’t change, too stuck, too worn, too late, no dynamic left in it, stuck, can’t go back. Like a process that has gone so far down the line that you can’t go back, like an argument or a path, no second chances, so stuck, late, fixed.
Imagine Nevada Desert or something with fossils, not changing, always so set, put a camera on it and see no changes. When I took the sip I felt sense of alarm, heartbeat in ears, had to slow down my breathing and heartbeat.
Like there was suddenly something happening, no planning, visceral response, panic.
Suddenly realise you are trapped, stuck; sudden realisation – shit, not rational thinking, panic.
Prover Two
Initially holding remedy my hands were really burning hot like when your hands have been freezing cold, then they go really hot.
Meditation took me to a narrow landscape – still, narrow, quiet and bare. A fixed state, stuck in time, nothing dynamic about it; very stuck, very quiet and still.
Brought up feeling of agitation, expectancy, something not nice was going to happen, uncertain, on edge, worse
when I took a sip. I briefly had palpitations and a sense of impending horrible disaster.
Peace was going to be shattered; breaking glass with lots of little bits flying everywhere; choking, dust. I can’t breathe; darkness.
Inevitability, situation couldn’t be reversed, not preventable, too far down the line.
Prover Three
Saw a lime green colour, undulating from my field of view with eyes closed. It went from upper left and swung upward in a vertical line, then a little to right, repeated several times in same way.
Felt no different, heard nothing, very quiet, glass in hand was cold, did not have a sensation of its energy going throughout my being.
Peaceful feeling seeing colour Maybe green colour somewhere on planet. The motion reminded me of ocean waves, but didn’t recede like waves. Conductor of music would move their hands that way. I also thought of palm trees but they don’t move like that all the time.
Only other image that comes to mind is a coral reef where the water is moving past with a repeatable pattern, not necessarily that green colour. Very calm.
Prover Four
Huge sensation of vertigo - whoosh - as if I was taking off, and then images of a bird with a big wingspan like an eagle. Then an image of a chick. I had strong pulsation feeling and my attention was drawn to my heart.
Saw sheer cliffs, possibly near an ocean. Then image of old flying machine, almost being driven as a car, not a plane yet, driver in goggles.
Don’t know what this means - parallel times - stuck in time or going back in time.
One of my dreams started with something like out of
Harry Potter
Stuck in time feeling was just the machine. The rest was in motion; flying motion; not controllable, like being taken somewhere.
Prover Five
When holding the glass I felt my heart throbbing and also throbbing in my hands. The picture was grey with no colour at all.
Sitting in an old racing car, watching a train passing.
All felt - definitely with the train - that everything is moving fast, no time to stand still and enjoy the moment, lonely, no one taking you on, everybody is on the go.
Not being in the present, not able to enjoy the moment, passing so fast, no one takes time to notice you.
Just wanting to stand still and stop all that. It is so tiring. I am fed up.
The planet might have this feeling, spaced out. Everybody/everything has their own purpose, doing their/its own thing No interaction Not caring for each other.
What is the purpose of all this? It is like myself. Like human beings.
Prover Six
Smell of burning when holding glass – sulphur and ozone
Prover Seven
Tingling from glass when first held it, conscious of it in my hands, felt heavy centrally in my body, did a lot of yawning, which stopped in deeper meditation.
Sense of energy coming through body.
Sensation of boat on a sea, going in a single direction, with a background noise of water pushing away,and the sound of seabirds.
Sudden sound as if somebody had thrown stones at a wall,
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