Page 27 - RulandFuneralHome_Mag_final
P. 27
gifts include; flowers, a donation to have wanted.
the charity of the family’s choice, Overindulge - if food or drink is
or you can make a commitment of served, do not over do it. Have a bite
service to the family at a later date. to eat before you go to the service,
A commitment of service can be you do not want to be that guy
something as simple as cooking them parked at the snack table. If alcohol
dinner, or offering to clean up their is served, limit yourself to one or
house, any of the “little” things that two, do not become inebriated and
may be neglected while a family deals risk doing something inappropriate.
with death. Make sure you provide a
signed card so the family knows who Understanding Grief
gave the gift.
Keep in touch - you may feel that the The death of a loved one, friend or
family needs their space and time to family member often puts us in touch
grieve, but a simple phone call or with our own thoughts and feelings
note after the funeral lets the family about mortality. All of a sudden we
know you care. With social networking realize how quickly life can end.
leaving a quick note is as simple as a It is normal to feel out-of-control
click of a mouse. The months following and overwhelmed. Realize you are
a death is when grieving friends and grieving.
family need the most support. The first step towards regaining a
Don’t: sense of control is to understand grief.
Bring your cell phone - your phone Grief is a physical, social, emotional,
ringing will be highly inappropriate psychological and spiritual reaction
and will cause a disturbance, so turn to loss. It is natural, normal and
any ringers or notifications off. Even necessary. It may cause a variety of
better, leave your phone at home or reactions, including:
in your car, a funeral is not the time to • Feeling tired and irritable. You
be texting or checking your messages.
Allow your children to be a distraction may experience insomnia or feel
- from a very young age children are tired all the time.
aware of death and if the funeral is • Appetite changes. You may or may
for someone that was close them not feel hungry.
(grandparent, aunt, uncle) they • Feelings of anxiousness. You
should be given the option to attend. may feel worried and excited at
However, if it is not appropriate for the same time; like your heart is
your child to be there and if you feel racing and you cannot “catch your
they will cause a commotion, leave breath”.
them with a babysitter. • Feelings of emptiness. You may
Be afraid to remember the good feel hollow inside. It may be
times - funerals are obviously a hard to concentrate or remember
time of grieving and mourning, but things.
remembering the good times helps • Feeling out-of-control. You may
with the healing process. Sharing feel helpless, angry or frightened.
a funny and appropriate story is All of these feelings are normal.
acceptable, and, in some cases Your whole world has changed. You
exactly what the deceased would cannot bring the person back or
change the situation. It is natural to
Ruland Funeral Home - Page 27
