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a long illness, there may be a momentary and prove that you are making progress.
sense of relief that the pain is over. If a
death is sudden and unexpected, shock Put the clothes away when you are ready.
and a feeling of numbness may occur. If Do not let others push you to make
a young person dies there is a sense that decisions you are uncomfortable making.
things are out of order and that life is not
the way it is supposed to be. As you are getting your finances in
order, get your other affairs in order to.
What you can do Change insurance beneficiaries. Check
Acknowledge and express your feelings. your health and other insurance policies.
Grief can be confusing. Sadness, anger, Discuss your own funeral arrangements
fear and guilt are some of the most with your family and funeral director.
common emotions. You may feel nothing Taking care of life’s “paperwork” can
at all or feel them all at the same time. help restore a sense of control and give
Do not be afraid of the intensity of your you peace of mind.
emotions. Mood swings are normal.
Be patient with yourself
Guilt can be one of the hardest emotions Grieving takes time. It takes far longer
to deal with and it may last a long time. than anyone expects, particularly you.
Self blame and doubt add to the pain of You really don’t ever get “over it” but you
grief. This can make it difficult to share can get “through it”. This loss is a part of
with others. Talking about your feelings your life. Be assured, you will not always
or keeping a journal often helps you gain feel as you do right now. Listen to yourself
perspective and insight. There are no and go forward at your own pace. Don’t
right or wrong feelings in grief, there are be surprised when grief shows up again.
just your feelings. Just when you think you might be doing
better, you may find yourself crying in the
Take care of yourself grocery store or when you hear a specific
Have compassion and take care of song on the radio. Anger and guilt can
yourself. Eat properly, get enough rest strike anywhere at any time. Forgive
and exercise. Grief causes tremendous yourself for living when your loved one
stress on your body. It attacks even the did not.
strongest immune system. You may catch
more colds, experience headaches or Find yourself
muscle aches. Taking care of yourself is Grief has changed your life completely.
more important now than ever before. You cannot go back to being who you
You might try some deep breathing were. You really don’t ever get “over it”
exercises or relaxation techniques. You but you can get “through it”. You can
can find relaxation tapes at a library or a learn to live with who you are now. Most
book store. bereaved people experience a change
of perspective and discover that their
Take control priorities change. Now is a time to take
It is important at this time to do things a personal inventory and reassess your
that can give you back some sense of beliefs and values. You may find great
control. You will be faced with making comfort in your faith community as you
many decisions regarding your future, look for meaning. You will discover new
both personal and financial. Take time strengths and talents. Trust your heart.
making major decisions. Begin slowly.
Handle projects in small increments of Create new routines and rituals
time. This will help build your confidence Develop new routines and patterns as
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