Page 28 - Biblical Counseling II

“When raised with both, the monkeys overwhelmingly preferred the comfy cloth mother. Like human infants
clinging to their mothers, the monkeys would cling to their cloth mothers when anxious. When venturing
into the environment, they used her as a secure base, as if attached to her by an invisible elastic band that
stretched only so far before pulling them back. Researchers soon learned that other qualities – rocking,
warmth, and feeding – made the cloth mother even more appealing” (Myers, p. 76, 2009).

Human infants, too, become attached to parents who are soft and warm and who rock, feed, and pat. Much
parent-infant emotional communication occurs via touch, which can either be soothing (snuggles) or
arousing (tickles). Human attachment also consists of one person providing another with a safe haven when
distressed and a secure base from which to explore. As we mature, our secure base and safe haven shift from
parents to peers and partners. But at all ages, we are social creatures. We gain strength when someone
offers, by words and actions, a safe haven: “I will be here. I am interested in you. Come what may, I will
actively support you” (Myers, p. 76, 2009).

Familiarity
Contact is one key to attachment. Another is familiarity. In many animals, attachments based on familiarity
likewise form during a critical period, an optimal period when certain events must take place to facilitate
proper development. For goslings, ducklings, or chicks, that period falls in the hours shortly after hatching,
when the first moving object they see is normally their mother. From then on, the young fowl follow her, and
her alone (Myers, 2009).
Researcher Konrad Lorenz explored this rigid attachment process. Imprinting is the process by which certain
animals form attachments during a critical period very early in life. The critical period is the optimal period
shortly after birth when an organism’s exposure to certain stimuli or experiences produces proper
development. He wondered: What would ducklings do if he were the
first moving creature they observed? What they did was follow him
around: Everywhere that Konrad went, the ducks were sure to go.
Further tests revealed that although baby birds imprint best to their
own species, they also will imprint to a variety of moving objects – an
animal of another species, a box on wheels, a bouncing ball. And
once formed, this attachment is difficult to reverse (Myers, 2009).

Children – unlike ducklings – do not imprint. However, they do
become attached to what they’ve known. Mere exposure to people
and things fosters fondness. Children like to reread the same books,
re-watch the same movies, and reenact family traditions. They prefer
to eat familiar foods, live in the same familiar neighborhood, and
attend school with the same old friends. Familiarity is a safety signal.
Familiarity breeds content. Basic trust is a sense that the world is
predictable and trustworthy. This is formed in infancy by
appropriate experiences with caregivers (Myers, 2009)

Deprivation of Attachment
“Do parental neglect, family disruption, or day care affect children’s
attachments? If secure attachment nurtures social competence, what happens when circumstances prevent
a child from forming attachments? In all of psychology, there is no sadder research literature. Babies reared
in institutions without the stimulation and attention of a regular caregiver, or locked away at home under
conditions of abuse or extreme neglect, are often withdrawn, frightened, or even speechless. Those
abandoned in Romanian orphanages during the 1980s looked “frighteningly like (the Harlows’) monkeys”. If
institutionalized more than 8 months, they often bore lasting emotional scars” (Myers, p. 78, 2012).

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