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and also to study Torah, on condition that no bad odor ema-
nates from him.
3. The Rambam (Hilchos Ishus 14:8) teaches:
A woman who prevents her husband from marital relations is
called a moredet (rebellious one). One asks her: Why are you rebel-
ling? If she says: He disgusts me and I cannot cohabit with him of my
own will, then one forces him to divorce her, because she is not like a
captive to be raped. She leaves without her kesubah but can take her
worn clothes etc., but she takes nothing of her husband.
In other words, if the woman in this case says that her husband
disgusts her because of his colostomy, according to the Rambam we
force him to divorce her. Although she leaves without her kesubah, she
leaves because she is not like a ‘captive to be raped.’
In Responsa Rashba (attributed to Ramban #138) there is a ques-
tion there about a woman who says that her husband disgusts her.
Can she make this claim if the man has no blemishes? The Rashba
answers: If she says he disgusts her, she does not have to give a reason
or excuse, since just as people have different tastes in food, so too
they find different men or women appealing. (In other words, just as
there is no logical explanation for why Reuven likes beans and hates
barley, while his friend hates beans and likes barley, so too here. The
woman’s claim that he “disgusts” her stems from an emotion and logic
cannot be applied to it.) Therefore, if she says he disgusts her and she
wants nothing to do with him or his kesubah, we heed her words and
do what it says in the Gemara.
Likewise, in our case, if the woman speaks the truth when she
says her husband disgusts her, she is not considered rebellious, and
according to the Rambam we force her husband to divorce her. The
Maggid Mishneh writes that there is an alternate opinion among the
meforshim which rules that we do not force this man to divorce her,
and that even if we do follow the Rambam, it would be appropriate to
establish a guideline here because of the lack of boundaries that could
occur as a result. Since the generation is weak, a woman could set eyes
106 1 Medical-HalacHic Responsa of Rav ZilbeRstein
#
Is it Permissible to Hide the Fact that There is a
Child from a Previous Marriage?
1 Question
If a psychologist or physician is asked about the previous marriage
of his patient, and he knows that his patient has a daughter, is he
obligated to reveal this? Is the patient himself obligated to do so? If
he withholds the information, has he committed a sin?
1 AnsweR
This would seem to be something that people care about. It causes
family problems and legal claims from the ex-wife for child-support.
If he hid it, it is probably viewed as a blemish. However, the physi- 20818_efi-ab - 20818_park-C_efi-ab | 4 - A | 18-08-20 | 13:46:23 | SR:-- | Magenta #20818_efi-ab - 20818_park-C_efi-ab | 4 - A | 18-08-20 | 13:46:23 | SR:-
cian is not obligated to report it since the woman herself should have
thought to look into it. It is also not halachically considered a serious
blemish because a daughter is viewed as an “obligation”. Put it this
way. If a woman marries a man who has financial obligations of which
she was unaware, is the fact that he hid the debt viewed as a blemish?
Just as hiding a debt is not viewed as a blemish, so, too, hiding the fact
that he has a daughter is not viewed as a blemish. This is what I heard
from my father-in-law, Rav Y. S. Elyashiv zt”l.
However, if the husband has to care for his daughter, this is cer-
tainly considered a blemish in the eyes of the world and it is also a
true disturbance. Nonetheless, if the woman could have found out on
her own and did not bother to ask around, then she herself is at fault
and one need not reveal it to her. This is what I understood from my
father-in-law’s words.
In Responsa Maharsham (Vol. 7 #152) there is a discussion about
an orphan girl who became pregnant and gave birth from fornication.
From then on, she conducted herself with modesty. She later got
engaged to a young man from far away who did not know that she
already had a child. If he knew, he would have broken off the relation-
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