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her mother died in childbirth and she was named for her mother. on another man and then free herself from her husband using this
This confirmed that she was not yet 41 years old. In other words, at claim that he disgusts her. (See Shulchan Aruch, Even Ha’ezer, 77b)
the time of the couple’s engagement three years prior, she had been a All this applies to her claim that he disgusts her. We still need to
child-bearing woman. Since he pushed off the marriage, she got old. rule, however, regarding what we learn in Tractate Kesubos (77a) and 4
It says in Tractate Baba Basra (119b) that if she is not married by the Even Ha’ezer (#154:1): We do not force a man who developed blem-
age of 40 she will be unable to have children. ishes to divorce his wife. Rabban Shimon ben Gamliel explains that
#
In light of the words of Yaavetz, there is some additional explana- this refers to small blemishes, while for large blemishes, we do force
tion as to why it is permissible to hide the fact that the groom’s father him to divorce her. The following are defects for which he is forced
is a gentile. The innermost desire of every Jewish girl or woman is to to divorce her: boils, polypus (a person who develops intolerably bad
fulfill the mitzvah of marriage, even to such a man. breath), a miser, etc.... And we would need to deliberate on whether
We can bring yet another reason why it is permissible to hide from or not a colostomy is also considered a large blemish.
the bride the fact that her groom’s father is a gentile. It says in the
Siddur of Rav Yaakov Emden (p. 259), in the berachah of Refa’einu The Radvaz was asked (Vol. 4 #260) about a woman who claims
(Heal us O Lord, that we be healed”) that there is no healthy man that her husband wets the bed and is not aware of it. Do we force
whose body does not have internal scars and wounds. Rather there him to divorce her and to give her a kesubah, like a man with polypus?
is a natural strength that causes him not to feel these pains, and He answered that, “We have a great principle from the Rishonim,
the person himself does not sense the miracle that is performed for that we only force a man to divorce his wife for blemishes cited in
him. This applies all the more so, to we, who are stricken with the our Mishnah.” The reason for this is that if we start making a parallel
sufferings of the Exile, and especially to Torah scholars, who are sick between other so-called blemishes, claiming that they are “similar”
(Nedarim 49b). to those cited in the Gemara, then all women, with one excuse or
According to his words, being that one does not know what is another, would free themselves from their husbands. Moreover, this
found in his own body, we are not obligated to reveal that the father is not similar at all to those things cited in the Mishnah since it is
of the groom is a gentile. The same might apply to the question at the like any other illness, which eventually passes. Moreover, why should
beginning of our discussion about a patient with epilepsy. Perhaps his she care? When awake, he is like anyone else. Let him have marital
marriage is not a mistaken transaction if he had epilepsy which is cur- relations with her and then each can sleep in his own bed.
rently controlled, because even his bride does not know what illness is And from this we can learn for our case as well. Colostomy is not
in her own body. In fact, there was a recent case of a young man who included in the blemishes listed in the Mishnah. Not only when tem-
discovered he had cancer immediately after his wedding, even though porary but even when it is permanent, we should not add it to the
he had married under the assumption that he was healthy. blemishes listed in the Mishnah. [See also Beis Yosef (Even Ha’ezer

 #39:4) and Darchei Moshe, ibid, and the Rama (#117:5) and Responsum
Beis Yitzchak (Even Ha’ezer Vol. 1, #127:9)]
The Radvaz adds (ibid) and says that bedwetting is not considered
to be a blemish if the woman claims it is a bother, but if she claims
that he disgusts her, the claim is valid, and it is probably the same in
our case.

90 1 Medical-HalacHic Responsa of Rav ZilbeRstein Colostomies 2 107