Page 36 - 20818_park-c_efi
P. 36
similar question asked by a nurse who was part of a team of first out a kesubah, this only applies if he felt immediately at the beginning
responders. of the marriage that she is not virgin. In such a case, he can change
his mind, and she is considered as having no kesubah at all. But if he
1 Question did not feel it and lived with her as husband and wife, one can say
that he forgave her. The fact that she is a non-virgin would then be no
A man came to me with a story: I am a good man to my family. worse halachically than any other blemish, which, if discovered after
However, I have a weakness for procrastination from the time I finish an interval into the marriage, is presumably forgiven by the husband
my work until I come home. Sometimes I talk to friends and listen and thus does not invalidate the marriage. This is because “there is
to their problems, or I go to comfort mourners, or the like. My wife a presumption that no person wants his relations with a woman to
wants me to return home immediately in order to help take care of become prostitution.” (Kesubos 73a and Shulchan Aruch Even Ha’ezer
the children, but it is difficult for me to ignore matters which appear #38:35).
essential. Today, I am very late and afraid of serious repercussions in Perhaps this approach can be applied in our case. Since no man
my shalom bayis. wants his relations to become prostitution, maybe he forgave her
He then asked me to place his hand in a bandage, so that he could specifically because she married him in full innocence, hiding nothing
tell his wife and his mother-in-law that he was scraped by a passing of which she was aware. In Responsa Hachadashos of Rav Akiva Eiger
car. He would pay me all the costs of the treatment. I did not know (#10) there is a discussion about a woman who was married on the
whether to comply in order to bring peace between the man and his presumption that she is a virgin, and it turned out that she was preg-
wife, or whether my job is only to bandage wounds and provide first- nant. According to Beis Shmuel (#68 s.k.24) the words of the Tosfos
aid. (Kesubos 10a, s.v. chazakah), imply that he has to marry her again. The
Rambam (Hilchos Ishus 11:17) and the Tur (ibid) seem to imply that he
1 AnsweR can stay with her without another marriage ceremony, because here
too we assume that “A man does not make his relations with a woman
If the nurse was convinced that the story was true and that she would into prostitution.” The same would apply in our case.
be bringing peace between a man and his wife, she would be obligat- There was a woman whose wedding band broke. Her husband
ed to bandage his arm. Every person is obligated to bring peace to a took it to the goldsmith, who discovered that the ring was copper but
person and his fellowman and between a man and his wife. As it says, gilded with gold. The husband was concerned about his kiddushin
“And you shall love your friend as yourself ” (Vayikra 19:18), and “Seek which took place many years earlier. Since he had paid a large sum for
out peace and it will pursue you.” (Tehilim 34:15) The nurse cannot a gold ring, and now discovered that indeed it was copper, he worried
say: I do not get involved in matters of domestic tranquility. that the sale of the ring was a mistaken transaction. If so, the ring
Furthermore, we can respond to the nurse’s conjecture that her job belonged to the seller and not to him, and the marriage ceremony was
is only to provide first aid and not to get involved in shalom bayis. The not valid. He feared that he had lived with his wife for many years
law of healing is derived from the Torah precept of returning a lost without proper kiddushin.
object, including the restoration of one’s “lost health” (Sanhedrin 73a). I asked my brother-in-law, Rav Chaim Kanievsky shlit”a, and he
If so, the same is true about the restoration of domestic tranquility. said that the marriage ceremony was valid. He based his ruling on
Returning the wife to her husband is a form of hashavas aveidah as the words of the Jerusalem Talmud (Terumos, Ch. 5:1). There it states
22 1 Medical-HalacHic Responsa of Rav ZilbeRstein Revealing a possibly dangerous illness 2 47
2
