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                   1    SuMMaRy and Conclusions                                                who assisted him violated the prohibition of “Do not wrong….” Here
                                                                                               too, if the physician assists [the deception] then he too has violated                                                                                              2
               To question 1: A groom who does not reveal his mental illness to his            the prohibition of doing wrong to another and of “Do not stand idly
               bride violates the prohibition of “Do not wrong your fellowman”, and            by the blood of your fellowman” (Vayikra 19:16). The Rambam writes
               also the mitzvah of “You shall love your fellowman as yourself ”.               (Hilchos Rotze’ach 1:14): “Anyone who is able to save a life but does
                  To question 2: If the defect is enormous and the bride would want            not do so violates ‘Do not stand idly by the blood of your fellow-
               to leave her husband, even if she is already married to him, there is a         man.’ So, too, if one sees someone drowning in the river, or hears that
 #
               possibility that the marriage is a mistaken transaction (mekach ta’us).         people are setting a trap for someone and does not tell him… then
                  To question 3: An  illness  that has passed does  not  have to  be           he transgresses the prohibition of ‘Do not stand idly by the blood of
               revealed. In a woman, one must be concerned that the illness may                your fellowman.’” Thus the physician will have transgressed by not
               return because of childbirth. If the physician says it will not return,         informing the prospective mate that he/she is falling into a trap.
               one need not reveal it.
                  To question 4: If the sick man’s wife is suffering, the physician               This is not the case regarding the children in the family who are
               is obligated to help her. If he swore not to reveal secrets, he should          not yet engaged in looking for a mate. In their case, there is no pos-
               annul his oath.                                                                 sibility of deception or of the prohibition of marriage without the
                                                                                               proper kiddushin. There is the real danger to the daughter; when she
                                                                                               hears she is a carrier, she can be endangered by the shock. In this case,
                                                                                               she takes precedence to her future groom.  One should not inform
                                                                                               her that she is a carrier of a hereditary disease until the time comes
                                                                                               that she must know. And even if the physician may not find her years
                                                                                               later when she is seeking a marriage-partner, he is not obligated to
                                                                                               worry about that now. One must deal with troubles only in their time.
                                                                                                  We can still ask, though, about informing those who are of mar-
                                                                                               riageable age that they are carriers. Why, in this case, do we give pre-
                                                                                               cedence to the potential spouse of the carrier and to the possibility of
                                                                                               an improper kiddushin? Why are we not concerned about the girl who
                                                                                               is a carrier, who may become emotionally distraught when we tell her
                                                                                               of her condition?
                                                                                                  We can answer that if there is a real concern of pikuach nefesh, (such
                                                                                               as in the case of the nurse who, upon learning that she has no ovaries,
                                                                                               entered a state of shock and attempted suicide) then it is preferable
                                                                                               to do nothing. In our case, however, where there is only a distant
                                                                                               possibility of her really endangering her life, the prohibition of “Do
                                                                                               not stand idly by the blood of your fellowman” remains and we have
                                                                                               to concern ourselves with her potential groom. We must ensure that
                                                                                               he is not misled into a marriage that will cause him much suffering.




        26               1  Medical-HalacHic Responsa of Rav ZilbeRstein                       Telling a patient that he is sterile  2                          43
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