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In our case, we can suggest that the researcher reveal the young the prohibition of deception without getting his father angry enough
woman’s problem to her parents. They certainly care about her health to throw him out of the house?
and probably do not want to deceive her potential spouse as well.
Thus, they will keep it secret so their daughter will not be hurt by the 1
knowledge. And if they find a suitable young man for their daughter, AnsweR
one who has a problem of his own, they will consider how to notify I asked my father-in-law, Rav Y. S. Elyashiv zt”l, this question. He
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him of the problem without hurting their daughter. answered that one should ask the psychiatrist, and if he asserts that
the groom’s condition is not serious and will not worsen over time,
1 SuMMaRy and Conclusions then we can permit the groom to conceal his problem from his bride.
This is because there is reason to believe that even if he tells her, she
1. If the children who are carriers are of marriageable age, one is will not break the engagement. As “the girl who broke an engagement”
obligated to tell them their situation. If they are not yet involved she would not be able to easily find another young man. Moreover,
in seeking a mate, one should not tell them that they are carri- she is already engaged and they found favor in each other’s eyes. Thus
ers. she is likely to stay with him. The young man has not sinned, even an
2. It is prohibited for these children to hide their illness from their iota, since his intent was to tell his bride and he did not violate the
future spouses. prohibition of deception.
3. It is a mitzvah for the physician to inform the parents and to However, if the groom had intentionally withheld his medical
keep their secret, and the parents will seek out a suitable mate. problem from his bride, and then come to ask what to do after the
engagement, we would advise him to tell her and thus repair the de-
I showed these words to one of the great Torah scholars of the gen- ception. In this case, we would not say that since she is already a bride
eration and he commented on what I wrote in the first paragraph. He she will probably agree to remain with him.
felt that since the physician explicitly said, “I believe that if I do tell
her, she will suffer a severe emotional collapse,” the physician is not
obligated to inform her that she is a carrier; there is a real possibility 1 SuMMaRy
of pikuach nefesh on her part.
One can rely on the fact that she may be among the 50% who give Perhaps we can be lenient, and allow the groom to refrain from re-
birth to healthy children, especially since the tests that showed that vealing his illness to the bride, under three conditions:
she is a carrier are not always accurate, and mistakes often happen. 1. If the groom intended to tell his bride, but his father completed
Therefore, he concluded, under such circumstances, the physician can the engagement before he had a chance to tell her.
remain quiet and not say anything.
2. If the psychiatrist says that the groom’s problem will not get
worse, and it is possible that a good wife might improve his
condition.

3. If it seems logical that if the engagement is broken off, she will
not be able to find another suitable mate to marry.

44 1 Medical-HalacHic Responsa of Rav ZilbeRstein Groom Sufers from Mental Illness 2 25