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“I am having a difKicult time with something and I could use your help.”
This is an “invitations to collaborate,” the kind I have been introducing into some of my sections and topics. Offering these invitations is easy in principle but tricky to employ. The invitation cannot come with a layer of blame as in:
“I have been mad at you for something and I would like to talk about it.”
This invitation comes with a little note on the bottom that says:
“Ring the bell for Round One of a Kight.”
Of course there is no guarantee that anything that you say when introducing this topic won’t make your partner defensive, especially if they are the type that gets defensive when you bring your complaints and disappointments to their attention. Bringing complaints and disappointments to your partners attention can trigger in your partner the reminder that they are hlawed and have to admit to it — a thought which is very frightening to some.
My advice here is:
Get over it! Nobody’s perfect!
Staying in Love: Secret Recipes For Making Love Last 105
