Page 37 - SILFlip

I am fully aware that not everyone loves French fries but do not try to wiggle yourself out of this concept if you don’t care about French fries. I have heard the argument “French fries aren’t important to me.” But that’s not the point. The point is those coupons I was talking about — they run out. But what a lot of partners forget is that you can make more. More opportunities to get back to the task of loving, and more French fries.
This chapter is about managing disappointment and I introduced this at the end of the hirst chapter as being one of the two primary tasks which create love that stays strong and transformative.
Thinking About Your Relationship With Intention
Maintaining your relationship by managing disappointment is an intentional task. Thinking with intention is an active process. By “active” I mean it is a process which you must remind yourself to think about. In the early phases of partnership it is easy to remind yourself to maintain your relationship. You can’t stop thinking about it and it is always on the top of your mind. The natural tendency is ideal love is one of preoccupation. Second, we worry about abandonment, so we go out of our way to connect and remain connected — and that helps us stay considerate and unselhish. As time goes on we lose the urgency of new love. We become comfortable, but we also become more complacent.
This intention of “staying in love” requires thinking from two perspectives related to disappointment:
Staying in Love: Secret Recipes For Making Love Last 37