Page 53 - SILFlip

of disappointment in relationships. For some, these words are inhinitely renewable. Some people, like my niece Rachel, express their love freely even from when they are little kids. I frequently refer to her as “The Ambassador of Love.” She is one of the sweetest people I have ever known. She’s also higured out that when you decide to love something you have to back it up with actions. She walks the walk and talks the talk. She will make a very good partner to someone one day — as long as they can make it past me and her dad, of course.
So much of our behavior is expressed through language that I have to believe that an important part of nourishing a loving relationship happens in what we say to one another, how we say it, and whether it pleases our partner when we say it. The short sentence “I love you” is one of the most powerful sentences in the human lexicon. Three words, even pared down to “love you,” can make all the difference — if you say it with the intention of demonstrating it as well.
Saying and hearing those words (and other words of acknowledgement, appreciation and when necessary, forgiveness) becomes the focus of what we learn about each other in the early parts of our relationships. Here are some of the things we learn:
• Some partners say I love you freely and without hesitation and they say it a lot.
• Some partners feel very uncomfortable saying it.
Staying in Love: Secret Recipes For Making Love Last 53