Page 97 - SILFlip

From here the people in this interaction can do the easy thing, which is to escalate the conhlict and begin trading insults with one another. Disappointment is operating to encourage “being right,” and protecting oneself from injury by proving the other person is “bad.”
The more difhicult work involves protecting the relationship and worrying less about pride.
The wisdom here is that a negative process can be addressed and re- directed to the goal of re-balance and harmonizing the relationship. Hint: It takes practice.
A good way to begin that process of re-balancing would be to say something like:
“That seemed to come out of nowhere. Can I try to make whatever it is bothering you better? I have obviously done something to disappoint you and I will try to Kix that.”
And after you say that you hope that they don’t say something like:
“Nothing is bothering me,”
because that would lead you to the inhinite black hole of:
“What’s bothering you?” “Nothing.”
Staying in Love: Secret Recipes For Making Love Last 97