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What’s Bothering You? Nothing.
This is one of the worst relationship snafus any partner in a relationship can encounter. I call it the WBY-N issue. There is (selhish) reward in denying that something is bothering you when there is. It’s a form of passive aggression. One partner is trying to higure out what the hell they did wrong, and the other partner is rejecting them. The rejecting partner gains satisfaction because they watch the other partner twist in the wind and suffer — this is also called “passive aggression.” If your partner is the sensitive type it cuts deeper. If your partner is the sensitive type then you already know that telling your partner that nothing is wrong when there IS something wrong drives them nuts. It generally leads to a circular battle of wills:
Are you sure?
Are you sure there is nothing wrong?
Can’t we talk about it?
Why does it look like there is something wrong?
Of course, not sharing what is wrong can mean that you are just seeking a reason to avoid an argument. That’s fair. But it is not fair when you walk around and scowl and huff.
Staying in Love: Secret Recipes For Making Love Last 98